#and sometimes even reaches the point where u can admit these struggles with other straight and bi women bc they're seen as inevitable

[cruelsister-moved2]

at the end of the day like it's not lesbians' job to resolve contradictions for you!! if you don't know how to square loving men with genuine unflinching opposition of the patriarchy, there are literally GENERATIONS of straight and bi feminist women who have been discussing this. but instead, for some reason, this is lesbians' responsibility, so our criticisms of men are met with unique discomfort, because they aren't underpinned by the assurance of partnership with a man to prove that we acknowledge men's humanity (as if lesbians don't have male friends, family members, children, students, comrades, etc + as if there aren't millions of heterosexual women who genuinely despise their partners).

when I relate a criticism of the patriarchy, and of men, it's not MY job to explain how that squares with the domestic harmony you and jakey share. I'm not persecuting that harmony when I don't have an answer for you:I don't have those answers because, as a lesbian, I don't need them, and frankly I don't envy you the task. there are people with these answers, but expecting lesbians to both have them + spoonfeed them to you every single time we open our mouths is starting to feel like a double standard when the vast majority of straight women don't have them either 😭

[blu-joons]

DATING STRAY KIDS A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Felix

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Felix gets very shy whenever he’s affectionate with you. He’ll cling to you, especially when there’s no one else around. He’s incredibly cuddly and loves to be held by you, but when it comes to being around other people, he’ll tend to be much more reserved.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

You gravitated towards Felix as soon as you met him because he was quite shy. You were desperate to encourage him to come out of his shell and feel comfortable around you which also meant he warmed to you well. He found himself feeling very relaxed around you very quickly, in amongst big crowds, he liked to have you with him as a bit of a safety blanket.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

He was quite nervous to confess his feelings to you because he was terrified that you wouldn’t feel the same way. In the end he turned to Chan for a bit of advice, who had spotted from the moment the two of you met that there was an instant attraction there. With Chan’s advice he pulled you aside one night to tell you how he felt, you could tell he was nervous, but as soon as you admitted to him how you felt too, his nerves disappeared.

D ⇴ DATES

Prepare for a lot of dates revolving around food, I’d love to tell you Felix wouldn’t be the cliché boyfriend who cooked you brownies and cookies, but he most definitely would. If he’s not in the mood for cooking, he likes to head out and do something physical so he can show off to you. If he’s honest, he doesn’t mind where your dates are, sometimes just the two of you being at the dorm together is enough for him. Just being in your company is enough, he’s never going to expect too much of you or your dates.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Dating had never been of any interest to Felix until he met you. Sure, he had female friends in Korea and Australia, but he never saw anything romantic with them. So much of his attention had been on trying to establish his career that he chose to just wait for love to find him. He never imagined that it would find him so young and so quickly, that was until he met you. He was keen to keep a lot of your relationship private, not just out of fear, but also because it was new to him, and he still had a lot to learn before anyone found out about you both.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

If there’s one person who will never fight with you, it’s Felix. He simply doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. Any hint of conflict will make him anxious; he’ll tend to cower away before anything can even remotely blow up. He always makes sure to treat you well, even if there are times when he’ll disagree with you, he’ll listen to your opinion and try to understand before politely telling you how he feels. There are very few times that Felix will even give you the chance to argue with him, he’s far too relaxed and nervous for you to get angry with.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You knew straight away how important his family were to him and how desperate they were for him to find someone to look after him so far away. What mattered most to Felix was that his sisters instantly took a liking to you, their seal of approval was so important to him, so to see them happy meant he was happy too.

H ⇴ HOME

At times he struggled to feel at home still in South Korea, and the dorm was his safe haven to escape from it all. He’d made it clear to you that he was in no rush to move out of the dorm, which you were more than happy to acknowledge, but eventually he knew that he was keen to find a place just for the two of you to call home.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

He was so nervous the night he told you he loved you for the first time. Felix had always wanted to be the one to say it first, but he never anticipated it would make him as shy as it did. As soon as the words left his lips, he buried himself into the crook of your neck refusing to look at you. Your hand had to pull his face away from you so eventually you could meet his eyes and peck his lips.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Felix is very much aware he’s not the loudest person in the room, which means he tends to back away from situations. He’s not one to be very obvious about his jealousy, but you can tell when he slips away from a conversation or starts nervously playing with his hands that he’s feeling jealous. He’ll never confront a situation if he’s worried about it, but he knows you’re too attentive to let him feel jealous for too long. You’ll soon find him and reassure him in any situation that there’s nothing for him to worry about.

K ⇴ KIDS

The two of you were far too young to even entertain serious discussions about having a family, but that didn’t stop the two of you having plenty of late-night chats about the future, and that included children. You both soon realised you shared similar dreams of what your future would look like, which of course, excited you both. Whilst there was still a long way to go before you reached that stage in your life, it was still exciting to talk about.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Whenever Felix got nervous, he’d always laugh, he just couldn’t help himself. You loved to listen to the deep sounds of his laughter, as he too loved to make you love. There wasn’t much either of you could do that wouldn’t make the other laugh, you were naturally very giggly people which led to carnage whenever the two of you were together. He loved to hear your laughter, it was his favourite sound in the world, just like the dorm, whenever he was feeling on edge, your laughter would be the comfort he needed to feel like himself again.

M ⇴ MISSING

He’d gotten used to being away from his family for so long that the feeling of missing someone went away. That was until he met you again and all those feelings came flooding back. As with his jealousy, he tended to go very quiet when he was struggling without you, which Chan would pick up on first. He didn’t like to text you, so he tended to wait until the late night or early morning to just call you instead, sometimes it worked better for him, but other times he hated waiting for so long to speak to you. There never really felt like a right way to get over missing you, but he knew he had no choice but to get on with things.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

He’ll tend to be very sweet with his nicknames, ‘sugar,’ or, ‘flower,’ are two of his favourites. For you, you’ll usually call him, ‘koala,’ or something related to home as you know how much it cheers him up to hear little reminders of Australia.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He’s obsessed with your smile, just like fans are obsessed with his. He loves to compare beauty marks and dimples with you, not to mention the happiness that warms him whenever he knows that you’re happy.

P ⇴ PDA

His nickname of koala certainly comes to play in regard to PDA, he loves to cling to you and receive your affection. He doesn’t necessarily kiss you all the time, but sometimes a hug is the most important thing in the world to him. He’ll definitely be quieter when you’re in public however, so prepare for him to make up for that in private.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

The question Felix will ask of you the most if you’re alright. He’s very concerned with you and taking care of you; he’ll never talk about himself until he’s asked everything, he can about you.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACT

If you ever feeling down, Felix’s voice is the one thing he knows will cheer you up. He loves to do impressions and deepen his voice to bring a smile to your face, it’s something no one else knows that you do. You couldn’t help but be drawn to his voice when you first met him, and he knew that too, so he loved to play on it and make sure that he got whatever it was he wanted from you.

S ⇴ SEX

Nothing changes when it comes to intimate moments, Felix is still a shy and blushed mess. He’s not quite sure how you manage to have the effect on him that you do, but he makes sure to show you just how much you mean to him during moments like these. He’s very loving, attentive, the perfect gentleman as ever, taking great care of you.

T ⇴ TEXTS

If he needs you, Felix will tend to just call you, texts from him are rare. You know that he doesn’t need much if he texts, for even the smallest things he’ll usually still call you so that he can hear your voice and multitask.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

There were many times when Felix knew he felt the weight of the world, only when he was with you did, he really felt at ease. You were the perfect distraction that he needed for when times got tough and life got busy.

V ⇴ VACATION

The chance for the two of you to go away with each other rarely came around, but whenever he had the time for a break, you desperately push for the two of you to head to Australia. You were incredibly keen for him to be able to visit his family whenever he got the chance, plus you knew it would score you a few brownie points with his family too.

W ⇴ WHINING

Felix doesn’t tend to whine too much, but if he really is desperate for your attention then he’ll let you know he wants it.

X ⇴ XXXXX

He’s much more of a cuddler than a kisser, so whenever he decides to kiss you, treat it like a very special occasion. He’ll usually kiss against your cheek and neck, the perfect places for him to reach when he’s cuddling you. Rest assured however, first thing in the morning and last thing at night he’ll always make sure to kiss you properly whilst reminding you that he loves you very much.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his everything, the support that he always needed, even if he pretended not to.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He’ll cling to you all night whilst the two of you sleep, he loves the physical connection of knowing someone is beside him. Not to mention the fact it always helps you to sleep too feeling his arms grip tightly around your frame.

---

Masterlist

[my-unmanageable-mischief]

Love Triangle

For the Anon who requested : Can u write something like the james/lily/snape thingy but with harry/draco/reader where the reader ultimately ends up with harry?

When you were sorted into Gryffindor, you felt like your world had ended. You were going to disappoint your father, you were going to lose your best friend, Draco, and you weren’t going to be a lonely outcast. At 11 everything is the end of the world. However, you were lucky, unbelievably so. Your parents eventually came around, “At least we know she’s brave,” he had said. And while you spent the first few months of school without Draco, he had come around as well. You were still best mates, thicker than thieves. A shining example of inter-house friendships. Even if you did tease each other mercilessly. You even found friends and a home within Gryffindor. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had become your best friends- despite Draco’s protests. 

Years later, you were a 6th year now, one more year until you graduated, and you were content with everything you had in your life. But change was on the horizon. Draco wasn’t acting himself, and frankly, neither was Harry. You worried about both of them, worried for them. Draco had missed two of your Friday study sessions in a row, a tradition since you were 11. And Harry was so caught up in that book and his own head when you were with him, he wasn’t even there. 

You were sitting in the common room, Harry and Hermione were bickering about his potions book and Ron was sitting by the fire ignoring them. You were lost in thought. The mention of your inner thoughts brought you into the current conversation. 

“Draco is a death eater, I know it.” Harry barked at Hermione, who glanced quickly at you then back to Harry. 

“Harry…” She started but you cut her off. 

“No, he isn’t,” You snapped, and Harry’s gaze turned to you, souring. 

“Of course you’d say that,”

“Because he isn’t.” You held his gaze with your own, “You’re overreacting, a habit really.” 

“I saw him in Knockturn Alley this summer, Y/N, what respectable wizard goes there?” 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,”

“His father is one,” 

“And everyone is exactly like their father? You don’t know him.”

“And I don’t care to, how you're his friend I’ll never know,” He scoffed, and you continued to glare at him. 

“It’s cause he’s got a crush on her,” Ron added from the carpet below them. “She likes the attention,” 

“Ron!” Hermione snapped, and you turned your glare from Harry to him. 

“I like the attention?” He merely shrugged, looking away again. “I see. Fine. I’ll leave you lot to it then.” You gathered your books, shoving them into your satchel before huffing and storming towards the girl’s dorm. Hermione continued to glare at both boys. 

“Why would you say that?” She questioned, Ron shrugged again. “You two are impossible.” 

“You birds are always annoyed by something,” Ron shook his head. Hermione let out a huff similar to yours and followed your actions, gathering her own things. “Hey, what about helping me with charms?” Ron asked, Hermione, shook her head, still glaring. 

“Do it yourself.” She, too, stormed towards the girl’s stairs. The boys sat in silence for a moment, looking at each other. 

“You didn’t need to say that,” Harry finally mumbled, Ron sat up, looking at his friend. 

“It’s true, she likes the attention he gives her, it’s a girl thing.” 

“Maybe she likes it because she likes him,” Harry suggested and Ron made a face. 

“How could she?” Harry simply shrugged, looking down at the cover of his worn-out book. “You should tell her mate,” 

“Tell her what?”

“That you like her, and that you can give her attention.” 

“She doesn’t want that,” Harry stood up as well, grabbing his bag, “I’m going to bed.” Ron hopped up as well.

“Yeah, I’ll come too.” 

In the girl’s room, you and Hermione sat on her bed, both steaming. Hermione sat up straight, ranting, her hands flying a mile a minute, as you lounged back against her pillows, arms crossed, head nodding in agreement. 

“They’re both terrible! I don’t get it, Harry, with his book, and his head up his arse, doesn’t even see what is really going on around him, he just talks, he’s clueless! And Ron, don’t get my started on Ron, he’s a thick-headed git, he-”

“I’d hate to see you started.” You joked smirking slightly and Hermione chuckled, dropping her hands. 

“I’m sorry they were being rotten to you,” You shrugged, playing with the hem of her duvet. 

“Draco isn’t a death eater, I’d know.” You murmured and Hermione nodded. “He isn’t, Harry just hates him for no reason,” 

“They hate each other,” She corrected gently, “It’s mutual, they always have. Harry is... jealous.” 

“Jealous?” You laughed, rolling your eyes, “What do you mean?” 

“Draco does like you-”

“Hermione not this again,” 

“Come on it’s obvious.” You shook your head, rolling your eyes, “He’s always loved you,” 

“Okay? So? Maybe? But why on earth should Harry care about who does and does not have a thing for me?” You questioned and Hermione looked at you pointedly. “No,” You shook your head wildly, “Hermione, no,” 

“He likes you,”

“No, he does not,”

“Y/N, come on,”

“Hermione! You come on!” She nudged you gently, and you slumped down further into her pillows, “Come on, you’re taking the piss,” 

“I’m not.” She looked at you seriously, “He likes you, and he knows Draco does too, and he doesn’t like it.” 

“Why not, I don’t know, talk to me about it?” 

“They’re boys,” You both chuckled at that, then there was silence for a moment as you processed it. 

“Really?”

“Really.” 

“I didn’t think you were coming.” You looked up at your friend as he approached your usual table in the library. He looked down at his hands as he sat, he felt guilty. Good. “You’ve stood me up three weeks in a row. I almost didn’t come myself.” 

“I’m sorry,” He sighed, looking up at you, “I really am,” You nodded, reaching over to put a hand on his arm, to which he flinched. You retracted your hand. 

“Draco, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” You looked at him pointedly, raising an eyebrow, and he shrugged, “Nothing,”

“That might work on someone else, but I know you a bit too well to buy that, talk to me,” You prodded, and he sighed. 

“You wouldn’t understand.” You nodded, placing your hands flat on the table in front of you, looking there instead of at him. 

“Are you upset with me?”

“What? No, of course not.” You nodded again, shrugging. 

“You’ve been ignoring me,” 

“I’m sorry,”

“You mentioned,” You glanced up at him, trying to catch his eyes, but he wasn’t looking at you either. 

“I’m just stressed with school and stuff,” 

“Stuff?”

“I can’t talk about it, Y/N,”

“Can’t or won’t?” You questioned him, and he finally looked up, his grey eyes were dark and heavy, and he looked more serious than you had ever seen him. 

“Can’t.” You nodded, holding his gaze.

“Okay,” it came out in a whisper, and it felt appropriate somehow. “I’ve missed you,” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and he reached over to grab your arm this time, squeezing.

“I always miss you, trust me, I think about you constantly.” You thought back to your conversation a few nights before with Hermione and your cheeks began to heat up. Draco tilted his head, catching it immediately, “What?” 

“Nothing,” It was your turn to be invasive. Draco frowned, squeezing your arm again.

“Is that so?” You didn’t answer, you looked down at where his hand was on your arm, swallowing thickly. “Y/N?”

“Do you like me?” You asked, suddenly, looking up at the boy who was turning into a man before your eyes. Sometimes you still saw him, 8 years old, and so carefree. Those were different times. You watched him, his own thick swallow, his eyes looking around, his cheeks slightly rosy. He did. But would he tell you? 

“Why?” He questioned you back, and you smirked slightly. 

“Is that a yes?” 

“What if it is,” He removed his hand, scratching the back of his head nervously. You paused. What if?

“I don’t know,” He nodded, face closing off, you frowned, reaching for him. “I don’t know, Draco, but it’s not bad. Okay?” He glanced up, smiling slightly. 

“Whatever you say.” 

You couldn’t see through your tears, you were furious. You entered the common room like a storm, looking around wildly. Where was he? You didn’t see him, so you stormed up the boy’s staircase and into the boy’s assigned room. 

“What the fuck did you do,” You yelled, coming into the room and stopping in front of the boy, “What did you do!” You came up to him, pointing a finger at him, shoving it against his chest, he had the decency to look scared. 

“Y/N,” Ron got up off his bed, trying to sound soothing, but you were too mad. 

“He’s in the hospital wing half dead because of you!” You yelled, and Harry stood up, taking a step towards you, so you were in each other’s faces. 

“Does it matter that he attacked me first?!” He asked his own voice raising. 

“Guys,” Ron interjected. “Please,” 

“Shut up,” You both yelled. 

“You could have killed him!”

“Why are you protecting him, Y/N, he’s a death eater!” You pushed your hand into his chest and he grabbed it, pulling you closer, “Maybe you’re one too,” You shoved at him, backing away. 

“You’re insane, you’re... you’re... the worst!” You couldn’t even formulate words right now you were so angry. “Never speak to me again!”

“My pleasure!” You stormed from the room as quickly as you had come in, going back towards the hospital wing. Harry continued to seethe, and Ron watched him, worried. 

“Mate?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

A month went by with little to no communication between you and Harry, and it hurt you more than you would like to admit. You could see he was struggling, and you wanted to be able to go to him, to ask him what was wrong. But you were still so mad. Hermione came to you one morning, looking worried, she grabbed you from the common room and took you to somewhere you could talk privately. 

“I need you to talk to Harry,” You opened your mouth to argue, but she cut you off continuing, “Please, whatever differences you have, you need to. He won’t listen to anyone else.” 

“Hermione? What’s going on?” You were worried now, watching her in panic. 

“He’s going... somewhere with Dumbledore, somewhere dangerous, he won’t talk about it, but it’s something to do with You Know Who,” You nodded, glancing around to make sure you were still alone. 

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Tell him not to!” She cried, grabbing at the front of your robes, “Please, I have a bad feeling, he won’t even talk to Ron about it.” You nodded, placing your hands over her hands and squeezing. 

“Where is he?” 

“Harry?” You knocked on the slightly ajar door of an empty classroom before letting yourself in, closing the door behind you. 

“I thought we were never speaking again,” He didn’t even look up, you shrugged, coming to sit on a desk a few away from him. 

“Ron and Hermione are worried about you,” He scoffed, looking out one of the large classroom windows.

“And why do you care?”

“Because you’re my friend, even when I’m upset with you, and I care about you.” You answered honestly. “Because I don’t want to see you get hurt.” He shrugged this time, before crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I’m fine,”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” He snapped. You were quiet for a moment, before getting up to move closer to the boy.

“Talk to me, please,” He tensed slightly, and you could tell he was trying not to look at you, “Where are you going with Dumbledore?” 

“Y/N, it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, Harry, it does.” You touched his arm gently, trying to get him to look at you, “Please.” 

“We’re going to destroy a Horcrux.” He finally whispered, “It’s... a piece of Voldemort, he can’t die until we destroy them all. That’s the short version.” You nodded, squeezing his arm. Finally, he glanced over at you, “and you’re not going to talk me out of it,” You smiled sadly. 

“I didn’t think I could.” He returned the small smile.

“You’ve always known me best,” You smiled more, tilting your head. 

“It’s my job.” He chuckled slightly, “When do you go?” 

“Tonight.” You nodded, before removing your hand from his arm and wrapping them both around him in a tight hug. It took a moment, but he returned it, holding you close. 

“I’m sorry,”

“For?”

“Everything mean I’ve ever said to you,” You chuckled, resting your chin on his shoulder as you embraced. 

“I forgive you,” You assured him, squeezing him tighter, “Just please be safe, I want you back here in one piece, you hear me?” He nodded and released you finally. 

“Y/N...” 

“Hmm?” You asked, looking at him as his hands remained on each of your arms. They went from your biceps down, before eventually, he was clasping both of your hands in his. 

“You mean the world to me, you know that right?” You smiled softly, meeting his eye. 

“I do now,” You joked, and he laughed softly.

“I know you like Draco-”

“I... don’t.” You assured. You had tried to, really tried. He was your best friend, your soulmate even, but it was not meant to be romantic. Not in this life. Harry paused at that, and you watched him, watched him lean in before placing a soft kiss on your cheek, when he pulled back he was blushing deeply. You smiled and squeezed his hands before leaning in yourself to place a small kiss on his lips, “Just come back, okay?” 

The castle was finally quiet, after hours of chaos. Dumbledore was dead. Rumors flew on who killed him; Draco Malfoy. Your head spun, your stomach lurched. You didn’t want to believe it. 

“Y/N?” Hermione whispered, her hand finding your hand, “Are your parents coming to get you?” You shook your head, you wanted to cry, but you couldn’t. Ron stood on her other side, and Harry was a few feet away from you. Everyone wore blank faces. Death eaters in Hogwarts. Nowhere was safe. Dumbledore was dead. No one was safe. 

“No, they’re in Italy.” You spoke but it didn’t sound like yourself. You didn’t want to see them right now anyway. 

“Come to the Burrow,” Ron offered easily, “Mum and Dad won’t mind,” You nodded, not really hearing him. You were looking at Harry. 

“I’ll be right back,” You walked away from them without looking at them, going to stand beside the boy. You both stood in silence for a few moments before you choked back a sob, and he looked down at you.

“Y/N?”

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, unable to look at him, as you were wrecked with guilt, “I’m so so sorry, I-”

“For what?” He asked, turning to face you, hands going to your shoulders. 

“I didn’t believe you, and you were right,” You cried, and Harry pulled you into a tight embrace. 

“It isn’t your fault,” He assured you, and you clung to him, continuing to cry into his chest. 

“He was my friend, I didn’t think... I never thought...” Harry nodded, smoothing your hair back, shushing you gently. 

“It’s alright, I know, I’m sorry.” You continued to hug for a few moments as you cried it out, Harry rubbing your back through it all, “It’ll be okay, we’re gonna be okay.”

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Hi!! I saw you were still doing ships and was curious who you'd see me with out of Queen and the Bo Rhap cast. I'm a Korean girl with straight, dark brown shoulder length hair with bangs and blackish, dark brown eyes. I'm pretty short at 5'3 and I love music (mainly classic rock) and art. I play violin, piano, and dabble in guitar, and I love drawing and photography. Btw, I absolutely adore your blog and writing! Looking forward to your new posts! Much love xx

hiiiii THANK U FOR THE LOVE ahhhh!!!

i had some trouble deciding between two of them for the queen ship but i think i’m just going to choose one and go w it 

ships r below the cut :))

For BoRhap, I ship you with Gwilym Lee!

Yes, yes, the height difference, I know! 

But I think that Gwilym would absolutely adore the height difference just as much as he would adore everything else about you.

Gwilym is 100% the type of boyfriend that is posting videos of you noodling on the guitar, or just idly playing tunes on the piano. But the reason you two had met was because of your photography.

He was looking for some new pieces to put up in his home, and had heard there was going to be a sort of freelance art market happening downtown, and your photography/artwork had caught his eye first. But when he looked up to see who was behind the stall’s table, he suddenly turned into a blundering schoolboy with a hopeless crush again.

“Beautiful work,” he’d commented, making you smile as you came around the table to see which piece he was looking at. He easily towered when you got next to his side, but it didn’t seem to bother either of you as you smiled up at him, receiving a charming smile in return.

"Thank you! Which one is your favorite?”

“I think I favor this one the most.” He pointed to a beautiful landscape photograph you’d blown up onto a bigger canvas, watching as you scanned it for a moment, familiarity running through your eyes. “The color is phenomenal.”

“That’s one of my favorites too. I have it hanging in my apartment,” you’d replied, looking up at him again and admiring the way he was so responsive to all of your words, right from the jump. It showed you he was listening, and it was rare to find a man at these markets that absolutely respected your craftsmanship and didn’t try to mansplain your own work to you.

“Oh really? Where at?” Gwilym asked, intrigued that you both found a favorite in the same piece. His eyes twinkled with curiousity, and you found that your heart was racing as you raised an eyebrow at him teasingly.

“That’s quite a personal question to be asking before you even get my number first.”

He began to apologize profusely, his cheeks turning pink as he smiled sheepishly. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be nosy! I was just looking for some work for my house and-” 

“I’m just joking, no worries,” you giggled, giving him a gentle nudge. “I know these things can get a bit stuffy and seem too serious, so why don’t I do this?” You walked back around the table, pulling out one of your cards before uncapping a pen and and writing a note on the back, then handing it to him. “If you’d like to buy the print, here’s my card so we can talk more about sizes and pricing.”

Gwilym smiled as he took the card, putting it in the breast pocket of his button up as he chewed on his lip, trying to single out whether you were flirting or not. “For business discussions, right?” he asked, although the way he smiled said otherwise.

“Oh, absolutely,” you agreed with the same smile, and then you were off to talk to a new possible customer as Gwilym walked away, reading the note you’d left on the back of your card along with your cell.

It’s above my piano, if you’d really care to know. :) xxx-xxx-xxxx

Once you two had finally started dating a few months later, Gwilym found any excuse to make you play the piano. Sometimes, he actually even pretended he wanted you to give him lessons, which consisted more of you playing and Gwilym watching you with complete ardor in his eyes.

“Wait, I missed that last part - play it again,” he’d insisted one time, smiling sheepishly as you rolled your eyes playfully at the obvious attempt to get you to play again so he could record it.

“If you miss it one more time, you’re in trouble, mister.” With that, you restarted the brief piece you’d just played, Gwilym sneakily holding his phone up to record you from over your opposite shoulder while your fingers moved expertly over the keys, not missing a single note. 

When you finally stopped and realized it wasn’t just his hand on your other shoulder, you laughed and grabbed at his phone, which he retracted quickly and shoved into his pocket as you wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to stop him from running off. But he easily just pulled you up off the bench with him, and you had to ride all the way over to the couch dangling off of him and laughing.

Finally falling back on the couch, he landed with a small ‘oof’ as you fell on top of him, giggling. “I ought to get you for that one, Gwil.”

“You’re too cute to be threatening,” he murmured, giving you a wide grin before quickly kissing your nose. Your hair fell down over his face just slightly, so he tucked it back behind your ear as you tried to look grumpy with him, failing miserably.

“You’re too cute to be mad at, that’s so annoying,” you sighed dramatically, moving down a bit to rest your head on his chest as you pouted. But Gwilym’s hand running back through your hair soon made you forget why were were upset with him, and you were about to ask him if he really wanted to learn piano when an Instagram notification popped up on your phone, making it buzz in your pocket.

Pulling it out of your pocket, you saw Gwilym had tagged you in something, and you opened it to see the video of you playing, the ending showing you laughing and grabbing for the camera before it went dark.

“You turd!” you gasped melodramatically, pretending to pin him down as you attempted to look as mean as you could. “I’m going to get you for that one for real this time!”

But Gwilym’s hands quickly subdued you when they went to your sides and started to tickle relentlessly, his lips matching the frantic pace of his fingers as he peppered kisses all over your face, making you squeal and giggle in pure delight. 

For Queen, I struggled between Roger and Brian, but I officially picked Roger Taylor! 

Although I think you would fit just as well with Brian, I wanted to pick Roger for the reason that I think you have some similarities, but you possess differences that would make a perfect pair that learns from each other!

Seeing your similarities with Brian, I actually think that you would originally meet Roger through Brian. We’ll say that you helped Brian on his solo project, and when Roger needed some help on his concerning some keyboard parts, you were the first person Brian recommended.

What Brian didn’t count on was Roger pretty much stealing you from him - as soon as you two met, you hit it off, and you spent more and more time around Roger, which took away from the time Brian usually had to shoot the shit with you and smooth things over after studio hours. 

But when he saw the way you were around each other, Brian seemed not to mind as much anymore.

“Oh, that was beautiful! Play that again, and put a little-” Roger made a gesture mimicking a slam of a single chord, “at the end, to round it off.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Piano Expert,” you teased, and Roger laughed as he waved off your playfully patronizing of him. Brian was watching from one of the chairs in the booth, where he was fiddling with a guitar that Roger needed him to play a few riffs on for one of his songs.

Brian couldn’t help but notice the way Roger watched your face instead of your hands when you played. Sure, he glanced at your hands every once in a while, but he was increasingly focused on your impressions as you played, and when he realized that Brian had noticed, he sent him a quick middle finger behind your back while you began to finish up. 

When you played the single slam chord to end it, Roger cheered, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before starting to babble on about how he couldn’t wait to hear your parts on the songs after final production.

When final production had actually taken place and they had their end product, Roger invited you over to his place to take a listen. 

So you curled up on the couch together, listening to his album with a bottle of wine and a Polaroid camera, which you kept taking pictures of Roger with. Although he was no stranger to the lens, he kept insisting that you should be the one in front of the camera, not him. To keep him from stealing the camera from you, you’d sat at the other end of the couch.

“Oh, you’re full of it,” you laughed, raising the camera to your eye before taking another pic and pulling it out once it had dispensed fully. Climbing to your feet, you sat the camera down carefully before you tiptoed over to the drawers on one of his cabinets, setting the photo in it and closing it so it could develop properly. 

Before you turned, you could hear the familiar click of the shutter and the grin on Roger’s face when you turned said it all as he sat the camera back down, then stretched out on the couch with the developing photo. “I bet you look so cute in it.”

“I bet it’s blurry,” you teased, coming back over and crawling back onto the couch with him, letting him curl up around you and grabbing your glass of wine again as he did so. “Could be a bum shot.”

“Oh, it was definitely a bum shot.” You groaned as you realized the double meaning too late, and you reached back to give him a very gentle smack on the shoulder as he cracked up at himself, making you roll your eyes playfully. 

He got comfortable as he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close while occasional chuckles still shook his body. “You are something else, Roger.”

“It was funny, admit it,” he giggled gleefully, pressing kisses to your shoulder as he went back to listening to his album, rubbing circles on your tummy with his thumb. “You love me.”

“If you say so.”

“Hey!”

[fairycosmos]

+ i have a job interview tomorrow and i just cant go. its a rlly good job but i just cant. idk why. maybe its my anxiety or me sabotaging myself again. i know my mom will think im a failure. but i just want to keep studying. i want to keep trying. it just feels more important. i want to want be alive before anything else. do you think im lazy?? iknow you'll never anwser this but should i go anway? is it awful that i never had a job? i just feel like a bum. idk sorry for putting this on u.

hey. no, i dont think you’re lazy at all. quite the opposite. i admire you a lot for caring so much about your studies, for wanting to make something of yourself and for continuing to try your best even though you’re going through such a difficult time at the moment. that’s a lot easier said than done, and yet you’re still managing it, which is really fucking cool. you should be proud. and listen, i’m 18 as well, and i’ve never had a job either. it’s super, super common. it’s not like it’s easy to get a job these days, especially while you’re still studying. and just cause you’re older now doesn’t mean you’re singularly responsible for the financial situation of your family. it’s not just down to you to make money, and that’s not your sole purpose in life. also, you’re definitely accomplishing more than i am, seriously. i know the world kind of pushes the idea that you’re only worth something if you’re constantly being used, if you’re constantly providing money or results or good grades. but that’s genuinely not true. it takes years and years to come to terms with the fact that it’s not true, but it’s not. honestly, how ‘well’ you perform from a capitalistic standpoint doesn’t reflect who you are as a person. how you treat others, how you choose to experience life, your interests and your hobbies - those all say more about you than whether or not you have a job. i know you’re not going to believe me, but you being here is good enough. your presence is the most important thing.  it probably feels like i’m lying, and it will for a long time, but if you start letting that idea into your mind, you’ll begin to accept it eventually. 

your parents clearly have fucked up priorities. and i’m sorry. because you deserve so much better than that. having a bad relationship with them will always be shitty, and you’re totally allowed to feel whatever you need to feel about it. anger, sadness, bitterness, fear, guilt. process it all one day at a time. as long as you try to cope with those emotions in a healthy way (letting yourself cry, talking about it, writing about it, practicing self affirmations), then you’re doing fine. but at the same time, there comes a point where you have to realize that your family have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about. they really, really dont. if they only want to acknowledge you when you’re in a top school or when you have a great fucking job, then they dont deserve you at all. they wont even give you a chance to find your balance. seriously. they wont even cut you any slack. you owe them nothing but respect and since they dont respect you, you dont even owe them that. i dont know how else to put it but i cant stress it enough, they’re awful for making you feel so bad for no reason. i know exactly how you feel. and it’s just. like there’s no point in constantly overexerting yourself for the approval of people that are NEVER going to be satisfied. how they feel about you isn’t actually about you. it’s about them, and their own fucked up mindsets. you are not alive to serve them. you are not alive to be exactly who they want you to be, you know? this is YOUR life, not theirs. and it’s the only one you’re ever going to get. so if you have to make a few choices that disappoint them, then so be it. they’ll either get over it or fuck off, and either way you’ll be better off. it’s ok to start making choices for yourself, man. and it may take some time before you work up the courage to do so, but that’s alright too. it’s all a learning process. 

it seems like your anxiety/depression is the real crux of all of this, though. it’s really worrying, what you said in your other ask. my heart dropped reading it. if you dont confront that issue then you wont like it anywhere, because you wont like being yourself. whether you get a great job, or make a shit ton of money, or continue to study. whatever path you take, you’ll only be truly comfortable if you make your mental health a priority. you have to take it seriously. it’s okay to put yourself first, before the people around you, before school and work. because struggling with a mental illness is one of the most difficult things in the world. and you dont have to beg anyone to understand that. are you currently on any medication, or seeing a therapist or some sort of counselor? if you are, is it possible for you to ask for additional support? and if you haven’t spoken to anyone, is than an option for you? even if you just begin by talking to your usual doctor, to see if he/she can refer you to someone? if you’re worried about money, there are low cost/free options, too. it’s just that, suicidal thoughts are not something you just have to ‘put up with.’ and they’re certainly not something you have to deal with alone. others have been exactly where you are, others understand more than you realize. you dont have to hurt yourself outwardly to show that you’re hurting inwardly, alright? if you believe anything i say, believe that. your life is so precious and rare and significant, man. and where you’re at right now truly isn’t where you’re always going to be. you’re not trapped, you have a choice to make. making the conscious effort to seek help, to admit that you need some guidance, will make a massive difference in your perception of everything. if you work closely with a professional, then you’ll be able to create a care plan for yourself, you’ll be able to learn how to incorporate healthy coping mechanisms into your life, you’ll be able to find the root causes of why you feel the way you do. you’ll be able to talk openly about your family, and the way they make you feel, and your worries about the future. all of that will make the pain manageable. there is treatment available. it wont be an instant improvement, but reaching out is a wonderful place to start. your mental health is just as important as your physical health. and of course, there will always be a part of your mind that tries to talk you out of it. there’ll always be that moment of anxiety/fear, when you dont know what you’re doing. but you need to try to look past that, and to have a bit of empathy for your future self. temporary feelings should never stop you from getting the care that you need. so even if you just begin by calling a hotline to see what they think you should do next, then that’s still something to be v proud of.

i know it’s hard. i get it. i understand more than i can put into words. and i know that asking for help is a massive step. i’m not saying you have to make any big decisions right now. i’m just asking you to consider it, consider yourself for once in your life. i know there are days where you feel like living like this isn’t worth it at all. you dont want to live like this anymore, right? and you dont have to, but killing yourself wont solve anything. it’s ok to feel like giving up sometimes. as long as you know the difference between having a thought, and actually acting on it. you dont have to lean into the pain, you can just let it wash over you. your mental illnesses and your family and all of the bullshit is stopping you from seeing how wonderful and worthy you are, how much life still has to offer you. there’s so much you haven’t experienced. there is so much happiness waiting in the future. it won’t be constant, but it’ll become a theme in your life. you have all of the time in the world to figure things out. this is the exact age that you’re supposed to be confused and lost, and to not know what to do. you don’t have to have everything worked out right now. you’re doing so much better than you think you are, i promise. the only thing you have to worry about is taking care of yourself. that’s the only thing that’s truly in your control. you can create a better environment for yourself. you can create a life that you dont want to escape from, and that’s what you truly need. not to die but to re-envision your own existence. it’s healthy to do that from time to time. 

as a sidenote, it’s completely up to you whether or not you go to the job interview. there’s no pressure, there’s no wrong answer. but i just hope you know it’s okay to take things at your own pace, regardless of what your dumb ass family has to say. i think the smartest move for you to make is to put all of your energy into reaching out for help. continue to study, just put it on the back burner for now. continue to look for a job (tho i think smth part time is realistically a better option for you), but dont put all of your self worth into it. more than anything, this is a transitional period in your life. it’s the stepping stone between here and there. uncertainty is to be expected, anxiety is to be expected, but that doesn’t mean you have to handle it all on your own. i believe with all of my heart that you’re going to be okay. you said ‘i want to be alive before anything else.’ you should always hold onto that. you’re so fucking capable, and you’re so much stronger than you realize, dude. i’m not bullshitting. i’m being straight up. keep taking it one day at a time. if that feels like too much, one hour at a time. even getting through one minute at a time is something to celebrate. look at the next 24 hours of your life, and see what you can do in that time to help yourself - fuck everything else. i’m always here if you need a friend, or if you want to talk about this properly. i’m sorry i couldn’t be of more help. if you ever need anyone, hmu. if you think you’re going to do something, hmu. and please stick around. you’re not going to regret it.

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

[servantofmischief]

Drunken Ramblings

For the lovely anon who requested some UtaTori fluff with drunk Uta! Thank you so much for the request, it was fun to do and I hope you like it! Sorry it took so long!

It isn’t so rare for Uta to come by right before closing time. Despite what most people think, he’s actually quite the social creature. He craves company often. As such, his shop is bot ha blessing and a curse. It gives him the chance to meet new people all the time, but the commissions keep him from going out and interacting much.

He always finds time for Clown business though.

“Oh, good evening, U-chan!” She welcomes him as he takes a seat by the counter. Yes, it is quite normal for Uta to come by when she’s about to close her bar, but it is not normal for him to appear anxious, or as anxious as he is capable of appearing with that blank face of his. She sees the signs, the slight strain around his eyes, those crimson orbs bleak and dim and the fact that small upwards curl of his lip is absent.

She wonders what it is that troubles him so. She asks him, but he refuses to answer, only holding up his empty glass for each question as he quickly downs the contents in one swig.

‘Ren-chan.’ She thinks. ‘It is Ren-chan.’ She admits to feeling some slight jealousy, but she’s use to this and ignores the bitter taste in her mouth as she fills his glass again. Once she’s acknowledged the fact that he won’t answer any of her questions, she leaves him alone to tend to her last few customers after setting a bottle in front of him so he can serve himself for a while. Once the last customer is out and the door is locked she heads over to take a seat beside him with her own glass.

“What’s got you in such a mood, U-chan?” She tries again and this time he does answer.

“Nothing in particular.” He swirls the contents of his glass around a couple of times before downing it. She should probably stop him, he’s started to slur a bit with his words already.

“You’re not supposed to drink it so quickly-“ She begins but he leans over the counter and rummages around before pulling out a bottle and drinks straight from it.

“Oh dear.” While Uta is not as much of a lightweight as Renji, that particular bottle is potent, and even she has felt the effects of it from a few sips. Considering how drunk the mask maker is already, he really should not be drinking anymore. Stil, she doesn’t stop him. Most of Uta’s moves are calculated, and she figures that if he’s feeling like drinking himself into a terrible morning-after state, she should let him do it.

He sets the empty bottle on the counter top and stares sullenly at it.

“One more?” He nods and she hauls herself over to sit on the new counter to find another bottle. She jerks when a hand grabs her ankle raised high in the air and pulls back to look at Uta who’s tilting his head and staring at her ankle. Uta’s hands aren’t large, per say, but his fingers are long and easily wrap around her thin ankle.

“U-chan?” The mask maker blinks, before looking at her, as she raises a brow in amusement. Oh he is drunk, she can see it in his eyes, but he lets go of her to reach for the bottle she holds in her hands.

“Let’s share it.” She holds it out of his reach as she turns to sit on the counter, filling their glasses. He doesn’t argue, he doesn’t say anything really, so she watches him and crosses her legs. His eyes trail all over the place instead of focusing on one specific point. Itori can’t remember the last time she saw Uta so drunk. He’s all over the place, so Itori leans forward and flicks his forehead. He looks so startled she can’t help but giggle. Only from this she knows she cannot let him go home alone tonight. He’ll end up walking straight into Doves.

“Do you want to sleep over, U-chan? Like in the old days?” The old days included them going out and finding a fight before returning though. They’ll have to avoid that tonight.

He nods.

“I’d like that.”

“Great. Now, please tell me what’s bothering you so much. I’m your friend, I’ll listen. Is it Ren-chan? Do you miss him?” She asks and Uta stares at his glass.

“Don’t worry about it. Sou-chan’s plan will smoke him out of the hole soon enough.” She assures him cheerily.

“Will it though?” Uta asks and Itori blinks, lowering her glass.

“Renji-kun fights for others. He’ll sacrifice himself if he feels that is the best course of action for Kaneki-kun’s group.” The mask maker has a point. Renji is the self-sacrificing type. He’ll most likely die once Furuta invades the underground. It’s sad to think about, really, considering their long history, Uta’s desire to fight him. Well, when she thinks about it, it is more of a need, really. When Uta fights Renji, he’s able to feel real again, alive, like he knows his purpose in life. She wonders what will happen to her friend once he loses Renji.

“Well, if you worry so much about it, then follow Sou-chan underground and fight him yourself.” She nudges his shoulder with her sharp heels and he looks up at her, eyes wide. Have Uta really not thought of this himself?

“But… People will interefere?”

“Then just make sure he gets out from under there. He’s bound to fight you if he finds out everything’s in vain.” She hopes. She’s followed Uta because she needs distractions. She wants to see the endgame.

“I want to eat him. He’s too bright.”

“Yes, yes. You want to eat him.” She also agrees that Renji is too bright. Sometimes she finds it hard to look at him, it hurts to look at him. So she agrees with Uta.

“So go down there, face him. Just come back out again, U-chan, I need someone to enjoy the curtain fall with.”

“But I don’t want to lose him either.” Uta is rambling back and forth, but Itori understands all the same. And concludes that if Uta is talking like this without any filter or pokerface, she doesn’t quite know how to handle him. So she jumps off the counter and pulls his arm over her shoulders.

“Well, U-chan, you can only have one of the two, so how about you sleep the alcohol off and we’ll come up with a plan in the morning?” Itori suggest and the mask maker nods eagerly as she leads him to the door in the back of the bar which leads up to her apartment.

“Yes, let’s do that! I’m already thinking…” He slurs and she grins. She hopes he’ll fall asleep, because as amusing as this is, she is tired and has her own preparations for the following days to make. Like getting ready to lose a person close to her, for example.

“What about you, Itori-san? Don’t you want to kill Renji-kun?”

No, not really. He’s bright and difficult to look at sometimes, but he’s a friend, and he’s warm, and as much as she hates to admit it, Uta needs him more than her. Even if Uta kills and eat Renji, she’s afraid that’ll be the end of it. The silver-haired ghoul have been Uta’s goal for years, what’ll he do when Renji’s gone? She doesn’t like to think about that, so instead she says;

“I just want the front row seats to the show, U-chan, so make it entertaining for me.”

“I will!” He’s like a child on Christmas Eve, eager and excited for what he knows is coming and it is adorable. She deposits him on the couch before heading to her room to find an extra set of pillow and blankets. When she turns around Uta’s invading her personal space and she blinks as he holds up a bloodied hand and take one of hers, pressing one sharp, black fingernail against her palm.

“Let’s make a pinky promise!” She raises a brow, looking at the hand he’s practically shoving in her face.

“Pinky promises are usually done by using our actual pinkies, U-chan. And what do you want me to promise you?”

“We’re ghouls, so let’s do it the ghoul way.” She sighs and shakes her head, pushing his bloody hand away.

“I’m not promising anything until I know what you want from me.”

“I want you to promise… that even when Renji-kun is gone, you’ll still be here with me.” He struggles a bit with the words, but even so, they shock her.

‘But I never left.’ She thinks. She doesn’t say that out loud though, because it is an easy enough promise to keep, so she lets him dig his finger into her hand until blood spills. She licks some of the blood off of his hand and then watches how he thoroughly cleans her own hand of blood until the wound has closed. That she had not expected, and feels heat creep up her neck as he grins boyishly and licks his lips clean for any smears.

“Itori-san taste so sweet!” She yanks her hand back and tries to hide the flush she feels crawling up to her face.

“Don’t even think abo-“ But he throws his arms out before she finishes talking and falls forward. Itori actually yelps as he falls over her and pushes her down onto the bed, curling around her.

“U-chan!”

“Itori-san is warm and cheery.” She blinks and wonders how many times he’s going to catch her off-guard that night with his drunken words.

“I like that about you.” He continues. “You’re nice, and cute.”

“Why thank you.” She tries sound nonchalant. “But where is all this coming from?” She tries to avoid thinking too much about the compliments he’s suddenly showering her with. He’s so drunk he’s probably not even realizing what he’s mindlessly babbling about.

“I’ve been thinking lately.” Uta murmurs, eyes drooping, and she realizes that she won’t get out from under him. This is how she’s going to sleep this night. It is not exactly the most comfortable position, but she’ll just have to deal with it.

“You’ve always been there, even when I was an ass back before we met Renji-kun. Even after Renji-kun came and even if it must have felt like I had forgotten you for a bit, you were there to patch me up after our fights. You listened to me and I listened to you. You were the only one I listened to, I think.”

It is true she had felt a bit neglected back then, but she had learned to look past her jealousy quickly, and be happy that Uta had been able to connect with someone else. It had been hard, because her friend had been the only factor in her life who kept her on the tight-rope, but she had persevered.

“But I am glad you stayed.” He ends his ramblings.

“You’re rambling, U-chan. Of course I stayed, I didn’t feel neglected at all. I thought it was funny to watch you two.” She laughs, but Uta hoists himself up and grabs her chin, forcing her to look at him.

“Liar.” She hates how her breath hitches but before she can argue he lies back down again and cuddles up against her. It’s a bit easier to breath when he’s at her side and not over her.

“I like fighting Renji-kun, but I like Itori-san too.” He mumbles. She’s silent for a moment before shifting to lay a hand on his head, scratching her nails over the shaved part of his head. What little hair has grown out again is soft against her skin.

“I like you too, U-chan.” But there’s no response to her little confession and she shifts a bit more, looking down at him just as a loud snore echoes in the room. She shakes with quiet laughter, her free hand slapping against the sheets as she tries to contain her wild giggles.

Itori really cannot deal with this idiot.

[jungmoseok]

Can u write a fic where yoongi goes to tie his shoes but he cant bc his belly has gotten so big that it gets in the way and so his bf namjoon has to help and teases him? I’m so happy u started this blow btw 💞

Chubby Yoongi is my weakness ahhh. Also, cute bf Namjoon helping+teasing: omg. I had fun writing this, I hope it’s not too long. And, I’m not familiar with writing very big characters or verbal teasing, so I’m sorry if this came out weird. I hope you enjoy the fic, anon, and that it’s semi-decent. :p Aww, thank you so much!! I hope you like what I post in the future.

-----

Namjoon wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s warm, vast frame. Namjoon squished into the older man’s plush body and nuzzled him. He played with the soft rolls of fat that cascaded on his belly and sides. Yoongi had gotten quite big since he started dating Namjoon. Yoongi was never very toned: with a slight, little belly and round cheeks. But now, he was massive. Before actively encouraging and helping Yoongi gain so much weight, Namjoon made sure Yoongi was okay with it. Yoongi was even more enthusiastic about the whole thing than Namjoon. With both of them in love with the idea of constantly stuffing Yoongi and making him fatter, Yoongi put on weight very quickly. They hadn’t weighed him a while, but as Namjoon ran his hands along the soft, pillowy flesh of Yoongi’s underbelly— testing how heavy it was in his hands— he guessed he must of been over 90kg. With Yoongi being a bit short and incredibly lazy, the pounds and pounds of soft, jiggly fat definitely took a toll on Yoongi’s mobility. It wasn’t anything drastic, though, and Yoongi said he was fine with it. In fact, it excited the older man even more. Yoongi didn’t tell Namjoon that, though, for the “sake of his pride”. And, “for the sake of his pride”, Yoongi insisted on getting out of bed himself and dressing himself. Namjoon told him he’d be more than glad to help, but Yoongi refused because he didn’t want rely on Namjoon for tasks like that, yet. Namjoon giggled at Yoongi’s addition of “yet”, but nodded, understandingly. He gave Yoongi’s soft belly one more squeeze before he kissed Yoongi’s lips and went off to get ready, himself. When Namjoon left their bedroom, Yoongi let out a whine. He hated going out. He rather be doing better things like napping, eating, or making out with Namjoon. Namjoon wanted to introduce Yoongi to a couple of his closer friends, Jimin and Hoseok. Yoongi complained about having to get up early and that he was awkward around new people. Yoongi’s whining was more to get affection from Namjoon than actual refusal. Youngi agreed, since he would do anything to make Namjoon happy. With that, Yoongi pushed himself to the edge of the bed with a grunt. He was a little surprised at just how difficult it was. After a few failed tries at hoisting himself from the bed, Yoongi finally got up on his feet; a bit breathless. He felt his member harden under his belly that reached down his thighs. He brushed it off and went to put on a sweatshirt. Namjoon didn’t care, but Yoongi wished he’d have nicer clothes to wear whenever he went out with Namjoon. Like, a button-up or something. Yoongi remembered he did, he just destroyed it on Namjoon’s birthday. Yoongi wanted to take Namjoon out to a nice restaurant, but didn’t foresee Namjoon ordering almost the entire menu and feeding everything to him in public. After Yoongi finished everything, he couldn’t even move, too heavy and full, and his belly pressing against the table. Right as Namjoon helped him out, all the buttons that were struggling to contain Yoongi’s massive gut finally popped off. Yoongi was utterly mortified, feeling stares of other people on him. Until he realized the dark lust in Namjoon’s eyes and found out this was exactly what he wanted. That night, Namjoon had both fed and rode him to the point where he was sore for two days straight. Young grew nervous thinking about it. He dreaded what Namjoon had in mind for his own birthday. Yoongi shook his head, focusing on pulling the size large, grey sweatshirt over his head. It caught at his soft, broad shoulders and flabby arms. Yoongi found it even more impossible to get the fabric to cover his overhang, yet alone his protruding belly. It proudly pressed against the fabric, the outline of his large, round belly was very obvious. Yoongi pat the dome of a belly fondly, causing it to jiggle. The size large he purchased only a few months ago seemed much too small, now. Oh well, Namjoon would get a kick out of it. Putting on a pair of jeans was even more of a struggle. Yoongi had to suck in his belly through the whole ordeal. Even then, it was extremely difficult to zip and button them with his fat belly in the way. The seams of the jeans looked like they were going to burst around his thighs and ass, not that Yoongi could see over his belly, anyway. Yoongi padded into the living room, finding himself very winded after getting his clothes on. He went to grab a pair of sneakers then plopped down on the edge of the couch with a small moan. He already knew he wouldn’t be able to get them on while standing. Yoongi’s belly turned to rolls when be bent over to put on the shoes. It was a struggle, but he managed to get both of them on. With a huff, Yoongi tried to maneuver his soft arms around the gut that filled his entire lap to tie the laces. After struggling in vain to get ahold of the shoelaces, Yoongi realized it was impossible. His belly was too big and heavy to get around. Yoongi sat back up, whimpering and breathing heavily, not only from exertion. He felt his cheeks grow hot with excitement and embarrassment. Namjoon came into the living room and asked Yoongi if he was ready to go. Seeing Yoongi red-faced and pouting, his clothes straining, made Namjoon gasp on the spot. He felt himself fall even more in love with Yoongi, looking him over lovingly. Namjoon noticed Yoongi’s untied shoes and chuckled softly. “Did you need me to tie them for you, my precious baby boy?” Namjoon joked, coming over to sit on his knees in front of Yoongi. Namjoon kissed the roll of flesh that hung over the waistband of Yoongi’s jeans, acting motherly in a high-pitched baby-voice. Yoongi rolled his eyes and flushed deeper. That’s when the younger man realized he really did need Namjoon to tie his shoes for him. Namjoon felt himself flush, now. He felt something devious pool in his stomach. He gripped Yoongi’s big underbelly in his hand and shook it. Yoongi scolded him for messing around and pouted, saying they were going to be late. Honestly, Yoongi just didn’t want Namjoon to tease him about him not being able to do simple things like this. Well, maybe he did; just a tiny bit. “What happened to you saying you wanted to do things by yourself?” Namjoon cooed, pushing up the hem of Yoongi’s sweatshirt. Yoongi only huffed in response, making Namjoon’s smirk grow even wider. “No way you’ve gotten so fat you can’t even tie your shoes, right?” Namjoon mocked surprise in a dramatic tone. Namjoon fondled Yoongi’s belly, running his hands over his massive love handles. “You’re outgrowing your biggest clothes, now, Yoon,” Namjoon said quietly as he caressed the edges of Yoongi’s vast belly. He traced the newest stretch marks on the sides of the muffin top that pooled over Yoongi’s jeans. Namjooon swallowed hard before continuing, “you’ve let yourself go so badly, you can’t even tie your own shoes.” Yoongi didn’t say anything, half-ashamed and half-thrilled. He just whined and pouted, eager to hear what else Namjoon was going to say. “It’s all because of this.” Namjoon sent a small smack to the center of Yoongi’s belly, causing the entire mass to shake. Yoongi grunted softly, saying it was Namjoon’s fault. Namjoon giggled in response and said “I feed you sometimes, but you’re the one who eats everything. You’re the one who stuffs yourself until you can’t even move. Even then, you’re still begging for more. It’s not my fault you’re a pig with zero self-control.” Namjoon’s sweet, warm voice contrasted with his sharp words. Yoongi loved it, though. Namjoon was always a sweet and caring boyfriend, but Yoongi did have to admit, he enjoyed this. Yoongi felt his hard-on poke against his belly and he instinctively squirmed. Namjoon noticed then kept talking. “I should just let you meet them with your untied sneakers. They’ll be amazed just at how huge and soft you are. They’ll just assume you don’t notice, since you haven’t been able to see your feet for months.” Yoongi squirmed, again. He bit his lip and looked into Namjoon’s eyes, pleading. Namjoon’s softened, worried he’d gone too far. He was about to apologize until Yoongi shook his head. He was panting slightly and kept glancing down at his belly. Namjoon suddenly realized what he’d done to Yoongi and sighed, relieved he didn’t hurt him, but made him hard. His smirk returned. Namjoon gripped Yoongi’s underbelly with both hands and raised it, seeing his boner press against his jeans. Namjoon groaned, pleased. He let Yoongi’s belly smack back down onto his lap as he let it go. It wobbled for a few seconds before settling on his lap. Yoongi groaned at the sensation then shot a glare at Namjoon, still flushed. Namjon understood how desperate Yoongi felt and wanted to take care of him, right away. Namjoon was feeling very horny, as well. Namjoon said he would cancel with Jimin and Hoseok, but Yoongi said he still wanted to go. Namjoon laughed softly. “Getting off on other people’s reaction to your weight, now?” He was half-joking, half-serious. Yoongi suddenly looked offended. “No,” he said pointedly, lying through his teeth. Namjoon smiled softly and gestured for Yoongi to hand him his foot. Yoongi obeyed, moving each foot in front of Namjoon so he could tie the shoelaces. When Namjoon finished, he stood back up and pulled down Yoongi’s sweatshirt down from the crest of his big belly. It still failed to cover its entirety and Namjoon didn’t hide how much that turned him on. Yoongi gave a pouted “thank you” and was about to sit up before Namjoon put a hand on his belly, pushing him back down. “You know,” Namjoon went to whisper in his ear, his voice low, “I love you, Yoon. I’ll always take care of you and will support you, no matter what.” Yoongi was taken aback by Namjoon’s heartfelt little speech and blushed lightly. Namjoon was so sweet. Namjoon’s warm breath tickled Yoongi’s hair as he laughed into his ear for a moment. “Even when your belly gets so big, you can’t even put on your shoes.” So much for being sweet. Yoongi whipped his head around and scoffed, mock-offended. Namjoon pinched Yoongi’s round, chubby cheek and kissed him deeply. Namjoon held Yoongi’s hands tight as he tried to pull him up from the couch. Namjoon noted out-loud how heavy Yoongi was and how difficult it was to pull him up. Yoongi scoffed, again: “you love it”. Namjoon nodded with a bright grin. Namjoon still held Yoongi’s hand as he guided him out the front door, and Yoongi mumbled a quiet “I love you, too."

[kihyuni3]

NCT 127 Reaction When They Get to See Their Long Distance S/O After a Long Time (Hyung Line)

I wasn’t entirely sure which unit you were asking for, so I just went with 127. I hope that’s okay. I also changed the request a tiny bit. If you want another unit please send in another request and I’ll get to it as soon as I can. Thank you so much for the request.

P.S. This ended up being hella hella long so I decided to split it up into Hyung and Maknae line

~Izzy

Scenario: You are a study abroad student, or just visiting Korea on a holiday visa (they usually only last 6 months) when you meet him. The two of you date for a few months before you have to return to your home country (in this specific reaction I’m using the US I’m sorry if that is not where you are currently living). It’s been a year since the two of you could see each other in person again.

(I accidentally changed the scenario for Doyoung, my bad)

Taeil:

Honestly I feel like Taeil will be the most apprehensive about having a long distance relationship in the first place. When he first met you he knew he was attracted to you but tried his best not to fall for you because of that. However, all that went out the window when you asked him if he would want to go get coffee with you (yes, you had to ask him out first). There was no way he could say no to you. The two of you continued to date for 3 months in Korea before you had to leave. It was a teary goodbye, but he understood that you had to go, and promised to stay with you no matter what.

After a year of waiting you finally were able to get back to Korea. As soon as you found out you called him. Both of you were so excited that you booked a flight right then while you were on the phone with him. The day of your flight he was at the airport hours before your flight was even supposed to land because he just couldn’t wait to see you again. The second he saw you enter the baggage claim area he would have to hold himself back from running to you. Your relationship was still a secret and he was trying his hardest to not be suspicious but he just couldn’t help it. When you reached each other he couldn’t help but give you all the sweet pecks and cheek kisses that you had missed out on over the last year.

“I missed you so much,” He would say to you softly in between kisses “I’ll never let you go ever again.”

Johnny/ Seo YoungHo:

You met Johnny at a street market. You and your friends had decided to rent a guest house together to stay in Korea for a few months and experience the culture. For the most part it had been incident free, that is until you were sent out grocery shopping and for the life of you couldn’t remember the word for squid and were struggling to describe what you needed to the poor confused lady at the stall. That’s when you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around you make eye contact with a very tall and handsome, but very intimidating man. You thought he was just trying to get passed you to buy something but as you were going to walk away he stopped you.

“What were you trying to get?” He asks sweetly gesturing to the stall.

After that he escorted you around the market ‘just to make sure you didn’t get into anymore trouble’ and everything just fell into place.

Long distance with Johnny didn’t feel long at all. You guys talked at literally every opportunity you could. This boy only wanted to take care of you and couldn’t handle the thought of you being lonely. He would even ship you little presents of things that reminded him of you and sometimes you would receive the latest NCT merch as well.

Johnny wouldn’t even tell you he was coming. He had told the company he was going to visit his family for two weeks on their break. Which wasn’t entirely a lie, he did spend the first week with his family, but the second week he reserved entirely for you. As he arrived in front of your house/apartment he gave you a call. He tried to play it off like he was just seeing if you got the last package he sent, but when you opened the door he was standing there not some little trinket he sent. While you were still in shock, he would pick you up and spin you around. He missed you so much the last year and he wasn’t going to waste his time with you on casual greetings. No matter what you were wearing he would pull you out so you guys could start a date right then.

“I don’t have a lot of time,” He would say pulling you to the car he borrowed from his parents “We have to make as many memories as we can before I go back to Korea.”

Taeyong:

I know I said Taeil was the most opposed to a long distance relationship, but I forgot about this boy: Taeyong was the most opposed to long distance. When you first met, you were walking into a coffee shop with your friends as he was walking out with the other NCT boys while they were on break from practice. Unfortunately neither of you saw each other and literally ran into each other. He ended up spilling his coffee on you, but was able to react quick enough to catch you before you fell down. He apologized profusely but couldn’t be late for practice so he told you to meet him here tomorrow at the same time and he would buy you a coffee to make up for it.

The two of you didn’t actually start dating until right before you had to leave. He didn’t want too much on his plate being leader and all that, but he definitely had feelings for you. One time when you went out together he got very serious with you and explained how he felt, and said that if you two were to date you needed to be absolutely certain about it and plan everything out about long distance before you had to actually do it. You shut him up by kissing him which, he would never admit, but he was glad you did.

Since you and Taeyong hadn’t been dating long before you had to leave he never really got to experience skinship and intimacy with you to the fullest extent, and as the months went on he was really feeling the effects of that. All he could think about was what it would be like to be able to hold you and touch you without any hesitation or pleasantry like he had in that little time you were together in Korea. He couldn’t meet you at the airport, because of his schedule, but he promised to meet you where you would be staying as soon as he was done. When he arrived and you opened the door for him he didn’t give you time to say anything. His lips were immediately on yours, his hands wandering from your waist to your cheeks and everywhere in between. He had no intentions of leaving you that night, or for the rest of you trip for that matter.

“God I waited so long to do that.” He would say to you as he pulled back to catch his breath, fully intent on returning to your lips when both of you were up for it.

This gf has me so weak tbh

Yuta:

I feel like Yuta wouldn’t be thinking about the fact that you would have to leave Korea when he first asked you out. All he could think about was how you made him feel now and the fact that he wanted to be with you in the present and not think about the future. And for the few months you were in Korea that was amazing, but you couldn’t pretend forever. When he came to pick you up for one of your last few dates before you had to leave, he found you crying. When he asked why you explained that you didn’t want to break up or stop seeing him, but you knew you had to. He would be taken aback by this at for a moment before pulling you into a tight hug.

“Who ever said we had to break up,” He would say sweetly, rocking you back and forth “I like being with you in person, it’s true, but that’s even more of a reason to hold onto you while your away. It’ll be something to look forward to when we see each other again.” The two of you stayed in that night, no exciting date like usual with Yuta, just a relaxing night of cuddling, sweet kisses, and too many bad movies.

When you first heard that NCT would be in the states for their first US tour you were ecstatic. Yuta already told you you didn’t have to come seeing as it was in a completely different state, and he didn’t want you to worry about travelling to see him,but there was no way you weren’t going to see him.

Even though you knew he couldn’t stop and see you at the airport because of all of the fans and cameras that would be there you wanted to surprise him anyway. You ended up toward the front of a rather large group of fans waiting outside the airport where they would be, you even made a sign that read ‘I’ve missed you baby’ with a picture of him that you had taken together (except you had to crop yourself out of it so no one got suspicious). When the group exited the airport he didn’t see you at first. That was until one of the other members caught a glimpse of you and pointed you out to him. You weren’t expecting him to do anything, but you would be wrong.

Yuta broke away from the rest of the group and went straight to you. In shock you dropped you sign. You had no time to ask what he was doing before his lips were on yours and every fan and camera was looking at you. When the two of you broke apart he smiled at you.

“The company said I could tell everyone about you, I was planning on telling you while I was here but I guess this works too.” He whispered in your ear. Looking down he grabbed the cute sign you had made for him before being pulled away by his staff

“Thank you for this by the way,” He yelled before getting in their car “it’s very cute.” and with that you were left blushing surrounded by a thousand questions by his fans.

Doyoung:

You were in Korea on an internship with SM’s publicity and production department. This allowed you to participate in the filming and promotion of NCT U’s Boss. This is how you met Doyoung. You were tasked on assisting in the shooting of his solo shots. When you first started the shots seemed very plain and lacked dynamics like the rest of the MV. It had nothing to do with him, but instead the staging. You were actually the one that suggested the in the final cut the shot was sideways. Doyoung was super intrigued by you creativity and watched yo work and take notes for the rest of the day.  

When the MV shoot was wrapped and the group was going around and saying their thank yous to the staff, Doyoung specifically went to find you and complimented you on you creativity and your eye for things like this. You were definitely flattered seeing as it was your first time working on a set like this. After that you saw each other very often. You were always working on their shoot and any sort of event they were at you were at too. Eventually you became a regular staff so it wasn’t weird that all the boys had your number.

You and Doyoung had been closer than the rest of the boys, and you talked more often but it wasn’t anything that hinted at romantic. The both of you had feelings for each other, but neither said anything about it or showed it in anyway. That is until you stopped showing up for shoots and events. Doyoung got very worried that he would never see you again. He hadn’t used your number for anything more than questions about shoots, but this time was different.

When you received a very panicked message from Doyoung about your absence your heart began to pound. Did he really care that much? You had to explain to him that you visa had expired so you had to end your internship. This lead to a long conversation about how he never got to say goodbye and some profuse apologies from your end. You thought that would be the end of your contact with Doyoung, but it wasn’t. The two of you actually continued to keep in contact, you would call and text everyday. It was actually over facetime that he had confessed to you. When you said you also had feelings for him he immediately asked you to go on a date with him when you guys saw each other again. Whenever that may be.

It wasn’t until a few months later that Doyoung called you excitedly saying the company would help you renew your visa so you could come work on their next comeback, that the nervousness of everything that had happened actually set in on you. You would actually get to see him again, not just through a phone screen.

You weren’t going to see him until the shoot was scheduled and you had no idea what to say. When you arrived he was nowhere to be found. The other boys were waiting and excited to see you. After exchanging pleasantries with them, you kindly asked where Doyoung was. They pointed you in the direction of the room where they all get ready for the shoot. You assumed he was almost ready and just getting his hair or makeup done so you walked in. What you saw was a shirtless Doyoung looking for his outfit for the first scene. When he looked up and saw it was you he smiled, but all you could do was apologize and turn away towards the door. Before you could leave he grabbed your arm and turned you around pulling you to his bare chest. You were still blushing but the feeling was comforting.

“I missed you so much,” He said tilting your chin up so you were looking at him. “I couldn’t wait to do this.” He said as he leaned down to press a sweet kiss to your lips. You blush again hiding your face against his chest.

“Can I cash in on that date now?” He said laughing at your cuteness.

pls ignore the caption

[patrineptn]

Proud of Your Boy (01/03)

Discord Prompt Wednesday, April 25, 2018 Prompt Word(s): Bloom/Rain

Summary: Yoosung has never been so poorly active in RFA chat or so diligent in his studies since he started college. The RFA members, however, didn’t know there was nothing to worry about.

Also available here and here.

Yoosung woke up with the buzzing of his phone. It was Saturday and his alarm was off, which mean either someone was calling him or he lost the track of time. With half-open eyes, he picked the device from the table and brought it close to his face. His finals ended just the day before and he was in a much-needed sleep.

Several missed calls, most of them coming from Zen and Seven, the last one just a minute ago. He scratched his eyes, trying to wake up enough to remember how to read Korean. Quietly, he left his bed and headed to the bathroom.

Yoosung washed his face, the cold water shaking away the remains of sleep. He read the chat history from the past days. He hadn't been much active lately, his finals came and he had a very good reason to not fail them. He barely got the necessary grades, but he made it. Yawning, he saw that Saeyoung - even half a year later, he still struggled to use the former hacker's real name, not his alias - and Zen were online.

He joined the chat before they ended up knocking on his door.

~Yoosung has joined the chat.~

Saeyoung: YOOSUNG!

Saeyoung: You

Saeyoung: are

Saeyoung: ALIVE!

ZEN: What the hell happened to you?

ZEN: I didn't see you online in the whole week,

ZEN: and you didn't pick up calls.

Yoosung: I was studying for finals.

Yoosung: My phone died.

Yoosung: I only realised it before going to bed last night.

Saeyoung: R u ok?

Saeyoung: First u stopped LOLOL.

Saeyoung: Now ur taking ur studies srsly.

Saeyoung: Ur a surrogate!

Saeyoung: Where's the real Yoosung?!

Yoosung: is it so hard to believe-

Yoosung: that I am really studying?!

ZEN: Yes! Lmao

Yoosung: I didn't get a scholarship for nothing, y'know?

ZEN: a month ago you weren't even sleeping to get some super rare helmet

ZEN: now you don't even pick up your phone

ZEN: because you were studying?!

ZEN: if it's a joke, it's not a funny one

Yoosung huffed. If only they knew. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands, peeking at his bed while he dried them in a towel. They wouldn't know what hit them.

It happened before his midterms. After pulling another all-nighter playing LOLOL, he skipped all the morning classes. When he woke up, it was past two and he decided on skipping the rest of the day. He used that time to do the dishes, sweep the floor, clean the bathroom, change his bedding; things he usually ignored but had the urge to do that day. Unconsciously, his mind told him to get the house ready for the surprise visitor.

Around the time he would be getting home, the bell rang. At first, Yoosung ignored it, not used to his own bell ringing, his guests never came without previous notice. The last time someone showed up suddenly, it was his mother and, as much as he missed her, more than ever he valued his privacy. When the bell rang for the second time, he answered the door.

There was a girl - a pretty girl with blue eyes and soft features - outside his apartment. He forced his brain to remember where he knew her from. The worn-out yellow backpack was a giveaway.

"Higu… re?" he tried.

"Higurashi." He failed. "You didn't show up today."

Yoosung looked away. He was caught. Someone noticed his absence. Should be so happy about it? "How can I help you, Higurashi…"

"Kagome. Higurashi Kagome. And the question here is how can I help you, Kim?" Yoosung hated when someone called him by his last name. His father was Mr Kim. He was only Yoosung. "Why are you avoiding me? You ignored my friend request and my message request in Fakebook and didn't give me a second glance in the times I tried to talk to you in the past couple days!"

"I hadn't checked my Fakebook in months and I don't remember you trying to reach me in school at all."

He should have chosen better words.

"Am I that invisible? We've been sharing classes for three semesters and you don't even know who I am. Do you?" He didn't. She lowered her gaze, sighing. "Whatever. I knew it would be a waste of time. See you around, Kim. Try coming to school every once in a while for a change."

Yoosung bit his lip. Was he really doing that to people? Ignoring them without even realizing it? Wasn't he the one who said once that just greeting his neighbours made him feel a part of a community? Why was he pushing away someone who came all the way to his house without even knowing the reason behind it?

"Hey, Higurashi!" She turned. "Why did you come here?"

"Why did I-" She frowned. "The history report? Professor Lee assigned us the chapters six to twelve."

"Is it a group project?" She nodded. "And we are in the same group?"

"We are the group. It is supposed to be done in pairs."

"Why didn't you choose someone else?"

"No one chose me."

That's how Yoosung met the one who would occupy his mind and heart soon.

Sometimes Yoosung wondered how could Zen fall so quickly for someone. Everyone, Jaehee in special, noticed how drawn to MC Zen was barely a day after she mysteriously joined RFA chat - not so mysteriously now that they knew the true identity of Unknown. In less than a week, the actor was head over heels without even meeting MC face-to-face. Now he understood.

It took Yoosung five days to understand the perfect woman shared classes with him for nearly two years.

Kagome was fierce. And somewhat scaring. She didn't let him slack off on their project, but she was fair when assigning duties. She lived in the dorms and wasn't allowed to have guests in her room, therefore, she basically camped at his place every night until they finished the fifty pages report - they started a week late, after all.

In these days, Yoosung met her many faces. The sweet and cheerful Kagome was the most lovable human he ever met. There was sincerity when she asked about his day, not like others whom would say it just to be polite. She also worried about his grades - it made him pay more attention to his classes, if only for her peace of mind.

The serious Kagome sent chills down his spine. She had no qualms in bossing him around and maybe, just a little bit, Yoosung liked it more than he should.

Stressed Kagome also meant 'leave-me-alone Kagome' and he respected her space whenever that particular vein popped on her neck. A cup of latte coffee usually helped to bring back serious Kagome.

Like that, Yoosung felt empty when he clicked send to submit their report. He looked at Kagome sitting on his bed, finishing the now cold green tea he prepared while sorting her notes and books. He didn't want to see her only in classes, he wanted to hang out without the burden of the schoolwork on their backs.

Should he ask her out? Was it the right time to do it? Was he prepared for rejection? Would he be able to brush it off and stay as friends if she broke his heart?

"Ne, Yoosung-kun," her Japanese slipped whenever she was nervous, "do-do you like superhero movies?" Her face was red as a tomato and her accent was strong than ever. She looked at everywhere but him. "There's this new Revengers movie coming out this week…"

A 'date' turned into two, then three perfect 'dates'. In the fourth, he gathered his courage to hold her hand in public. In the fifth, Yoosung got his first kiss, an unforgettable goodnight kiss under the rain on her doorstep. Yoosung walked on cloud nine, throwing smiles everywhere and to everyone. He wanted the world to know his life complete now, that Kagome filled him with happiness. However, things were never at beginner difficulty for him.

It was a rainy afternoon that created the perfect atmosphere for a snuggling-under-blankets-while-watching-a-movie day. Deep down - and he was too embarrassed to admit it, even to himself - Yoosung hoped for a Netflix-and-chill day. When she wiggled her butt and cuddled against him, her body moulded against his and he had to think of Saeyoung in a fairy costume to not make a fool of himself.

He barely paid attention to the screen. Kagome's shirt lifted when she snuggled on him, giving Yoosung access to her stomach. He felt her smooth skin, her navel and ribs. She shivered when his thumb brushed her breast by accident. Yoosung held his breath.

Yoosung almost fell from the bed when his phone buzzed. It was a message from Jaehee inviting him to a dinner with the rest of the RFA. It was the perfect chance to introduce Kagome to them.

"Where do we stand?"

Yoosung's mind short-circuited. He wasn't expecting the question. The silence that followed her statement was only broken by the raindrops hitting his window. Yoosung needed a full minute to reply.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Kagome shifted until she faced him. Her cheeks were stained with pink, her glare piercing into his soul.

"What are," Kagome's index finger pointed to herself, then to him, "we? We hang around, go on 'dates'." Emphasis on 'dates'. "Spend some quality time together, but…" She closed her eyes for a second. "What exactly I am to you?"

"Everything." His mouth said before his brain could stop him from being a hopeless romantic. The flow of words coming from his heart straight to his lips went on. "Everything I ever wanted in a girl. I mean, woman," he corrected once his brain function restarted. The blooming smile on her lips encouraged him. "I know a no-life with terrible academic scores like me isn't good enough to be the boyfriend of the foreign students' council president, but I'm hoping you already gave me a chance."

Kagome's expression shifted from gleeful to concerned. "I can't be your girlfriend. Not right now," she completed, probably seeing the desperation in his eyes and the little bits of his broken heart falling apart. "We have finals in half a month and I'll feel guilty if you don't pass them because you spent too much time with me." That last part she said so low he wasn't sure if it was for his ears or hers.

She saw his grades, he forgot the browser was opened when she borrowed his phone once. Which meant she knew how bad he went in midterms and how big were his chances to fail at least half of his subjects. He never thought his academic life would bring a problem to his love life. He never had a love life to worry about before.

He knew she didn't mean it, but someone in her rank couldn't be with someone below the average. Kagome deserved better, and Yoosung would be better. However, time was needed for him to raise his GPA. There was only one thing he could do immediately.

Yoosung grabbed Kagome's hands, her small fingers secured on his. "If I pass all my exams, will you be my girlfriend? I'll take you on a proper romantic date. We can have dinner, or I can cook for you! I'll look for Oden recipes. And we can go to that karaoke bar we've found the other day, or ice skating, you said you loved Yuri! On Ice."

"You will do that all… for me?"

"For myself, mostly. I want to be someone who you are proud having by your side. Don't look at me like that, it's not about you, Kagome," he removed a strand of hair falling on her face. "Higurashi Kagome, will you be my pre girlfriend?"

For the next days, Yoosung spent more time in the library than at home, going back only to shower and sleep. He borrowed Kagome's notes and used them to guide him through the syllabus. LOLOL? Not even once. He only checked the messenger in the morning and before going to bed. Only one thing broke his concentration.

Kagome stood by his side all the time.

She was his silent companion at the library and the one to make him laugh and break the tension of long hours buried in books. He refused her proposition to tutor him. Nevertheless, he wasn't sure if he would have made it without her moral support.

The last exam finally came and gone. Yoosung found Kagome waiting for him at the cafeteria - she handed the test much earlier than him and certainly did well. His soon-to-be girlfriend looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know…" he said, looking down. Kagome frowned, her eyes full of disbelief. "Dinner or movie first?"

"Baka! I almost had a heart attack!"

"Sorry, sorry!" He threw her backpack over his shoulder and linked their arms, blushing at his own sudden boldness. Kagome didn't seem to mind. "You should have seen your face. You're so cute."

"You'll see who's cute," she murmured. "Anyhow, I was thinking… we could… stay at home today… you know… together." The last part came in a whisper.

Yoosung didn't get it at first. "What about our date?"

Kagome's cheeks burned. "We can enjoy our night… as boyfriend and girlfriend." Her grip on his arm tightened. "If you want…"

Did she even have to ask?

[wcnjae]

hey, hi, hELLO !! so, i’ve wanted to bring a new muse here to seoul for awhile, however i didn’t want to give up any of my other muses ( because i’m much too attached and i lov their plots sFM ). since i’ve been struggling with muse for wonjae, i decided it would make sense to simply mesh the new muse with the old, that way everyone wins ... of course, when i say everyone, i mostly mean myself, but ... ilysm :/// anyway, before i ramble on too much longer, i didn’t change much about his background because i felt it still worked rly well, but the changes that i did make are bold. if it’s italicized, it’s not changed; it’s just something i threw in here to have everything on the same post, especially considering we have quite a few new members. if it’s bold & italicized, then it’s something that hasn’t changed much, i mostly just altered it a bit and / or fleshed out the thought. 

for those who i currently have plots with, if you decide you’d like to alter / change what we have, please do reach out to me !! otherwise, i will simply go on with everything as it was. if we do not have any plots, but you’d like to get something together for them, tap that lil’ heart and i’ll come bother you for connections :’))) ok i think i’m done rambling now sldkfng i’m sry for being a pain :/// pls lov us still bc we lov u svm <333

tw: mentions of death.

BACKGROUND STUFF

born to a wealthy family — his mother was a very popular actress, while his dad was the CEO of an entertainment agency.

despite their busy schedule, they spent every moment they could with jae.

life was great; jae was a straight A student, friendly, humorous and the child every parent wanted, but i’m a drama addict so ofc things couldn’t stay peachy for long.

one night, some men broke into their home and after a struggle ( his parents wouldn’t give up their fight ), his parents lost their life while jae hid underneath their bed

from his hiding spot, he was able to get a good look at one of the perpetrators and he fought with the authorities to get them to listen, but his cries were ignored

it wasn’t in his character to give up, so he rarely left the police station, which was a good thing because he eventually stumbled upon an important conversation that shed some light on the entire situation and the why things happened.

long story short, a proposition was brought to his parents, but due to the moral and legal wrongdoings, they wanted to alert everyone of the corruption. only … they were silenced before they could do so.

whoever the kingpin was behind the whole thing had to be someone of major power because jae exhausted every resource and connection his parents had, but nobody would help him. once he felt like he did all he could do, he finally decided to ( half ) listen to the words left by his parents through the family lawyer and took off to seoul so he could follow through with his dream of becoming a writer; only, for what he thinks are obvious reasons, he decided to become a detective instead.

HEADCANON STUFF

has always wanted to be a writer. he started off with small poems at first, but learned ( after his mother had read him his first novel ) that those were his true love.

after all of the stuff happened with his parents & the blatant disrespect and neglect of the case, wonjae decided he was going to use his smarts to become a detective. sure, writing a book would get the truth out, however ... he’d be powerless if he ever solved the case. ( if you’ve ever seen castle ... kate beckett is where i pulled some of the inspiration from )

a little ( read: very much ) on the morbid side. adores all things dark; tbh, think sunako from THIS manga/anime

still a total nerd and kept his straight A’s all through university and the academy. loves learning all he can, except math. he loathes math with a passion that burns hotter than 1000 suns … unless it involves money. he’s good with that ( and he has his parents to thank for that )

he’s brilliant at fighting. boxing was something he’s done since he was young and he decided to expand his knowledge, and arsenal, by learning every self-defensive move he possibly could after moving to seoul.

the true epitome of : ‘ looks like they can kill u, but is a total cinnamon roll ’

v level headed. he’s had to deal with a lot growing up, so he’s been taught how to handle pressure.

playing on that thought, he does, however, lose his cool around anyone who is in a position of power, especially law enforcement and politicians. which doesn’t make him the ideal detective, but he’s learned the hard way that power makes most people disloyal, dishonest and untrustworthy.

he was born in busan, but his parents moved to paris when he was three and that’s where he stayed until it was time for him to start college. his parents did travel back and forth between here and there, as his mother did a lot of work in korea, but also in paris, whereas his father tried to do everything he could from there so he didn’t have to travel here as often.

he’s still loaded and because his parents trust him, they’ve given him full access without a lawyer looking over the funds. also, he’s taken on the role of CEO of his father’s record label. it’s a background thing and most people don’t really know because it’s a secret he doesn’t let most in on because he prefers to simply oversee the operation from the sidelines and handle all financial decisions ( including, but not limited to: who the company signs, who the company hires, debuts / comebacks, etc. )

he lives very frugally, tho, and only breaks into their money for an emergency — and to donate to a handful of charities each years. otherwise, it stays in the bank to gather interest.

suffers from night terrors, so he normally only runs on an hour of good sleep, which explains why he’s such a bear first thing in the morning ( pls don’t take it personally )

has an eye for details. normally v quick to point out things that are misplaced, misspelled or simply missing. he’s kind of annoying about it, too. though he loves to read and get into the story, he also has a bad habit of playing editor and fixing the mistakes. sometimes even reaching out to inform the publishing company of the errors, depending on the number of mistakes he finds. after all, if you’re paying someone to do a job, shouldn’t they do it correctly ??

he’s still a social butterfly, but he prefers to be the lone wolf

really, really, reALLY doesn’t like feelings. he doesn’t like admitting them, he doesn’t like acting on them, he doesn’t like hearing about them ... tbh, if it were up to him, the only emotions he would feel would be anger and content considering those are the only ones he actually knows how to deal with. otherwise ... he either runs for the hills or plugs his ears and screams until you stop talking and move onto another subject. despite all of that, tho, if you ever needed help, he is someone you can for surely count on. just never bring it up or he will find a reason to arrest you :)))))))

[swissmissficrecs]

Long Johnlock relationship fics

b-as-in-bakerstreet asked: Hello! I was wondering if you have a Johnlock list of fics any U as long as they're lengthy, complex and with a good developing of their relationship? I realise this description may be subjective but I like your work and have liked e lot of your suggestions, so...

Reply: Thanks for the request! I have SO MUCH for you I hardly know where to start. First off, I have two rec lists for long casefics, which generally have well developed relationship plots too:

Long (50K+) high-rated casefics

Long, angsty casefics completed in the second half of 2016

Then I have a list of my favorite 100K+ series and fics, which is CHOCK FULL of lengthy, complex plots with fantastic relationships.

I also wanted to give you some more specific recs, but I quickly realized the list was going to get unwieldy, so I have added some parameters. These are all 50-100K in length, pre-series 4, without kids, have more of a relationship/romance focus and aren’t too far AU. By length:

The Paradox Series by wordstrings (98K, E) Summary: In which what's in Sherlock's head is never going to get any better, and John is nearly thrown out of his flat.

Saudade by tunteeton (96K, E) Summary: John loses Sherlock, gains Sherlock and learns to never, ever, ever pray.

The Breaking Wheel by J_Baillier (93K, M) Summary: His immune system is decimating his nervous system - a civil war raging inside of him. Is there a reaction he's supposed to be having to this news, now? Something normal: cry, scream, pound the wall? Shake his fist at the uncaring universe? John can't stop this. An uncomfortable bed at some hospital ward isn't going to stop this. They keep telling him that this will most likely pass, but no one is answering the most important question: how will he be able to endure the uncertainty and the long wait?

Swan Song by astudyinrose (92K, E) Summary: What if the stag night in the Sign of Three had ended a bit differently?

A Diseased Fancy by J_Baillier (85K, M) Summary: It has been two years since John's marriage had fallen apart and he had moved back to Baker Street. Things between him and Sherlock are still very much undefined, and John is certain that he'll have plenty of time to figure it all out. This notion proves dangerously false: strange things are set in motion when Sherlock's long-lost “acquaintance” from university appears on their doorstep and a baffling burglary case frustrates Sherlock to no end. What is behind Sherlock's black moods and dwindling health? Where is Mycroft? Why would someone steal artefacts from the British Museum that have interested nary a soul for decades?In the midst of this thickening fog stands John, who will soon have to take on an enemy much greater than even Moriarty.

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (81K, E)                Summary: They'd never talked about sex in the year they'd known each other. Well, that wasn't quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

The Case of (Developing) Love Series by Lunavere (77K, M) Summary: It had been another boring Sunday when Mycroft walked into their flat and blackmailed John in order to force Sherlock to investigate a case for him.  For Sherlock, this case is nothing special - just another one of Mycroft's "national security" cases.  For John, however, it hits a little too close to home.  As former colleagues and old memories resurface, John finds it harder to hide his emotions from an ever observant Sherlock.  

Perpetual Motion by Fay (orphan_account) (75K, E)         Summary: Everyone thinks that they're a couple, but Sherlock's self-sexual and John's straight, so they're never going to fall in love, are they? Even if neither of them can imagine life without the other.

A World Upended by sfumatosoup (71K, M) Summary: John is relentlessly pursued by a coworker, which all leads to an inevitable revelation by Sherlock. How will John react to this?

The Ground Beneath Your Feet by Chryse (68K, E) Summary: Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.

All the Rest (of What I Want) by philalethia (68K, E)               Summary: After being invalided home from Afghanistan, John takes his therapist's advice and tries to meet people online. Specifically, he joins a fetish site, where he ends up interacting with a man called SH who keeps paying him money to perform odd tasks and seems very keen to take care of him.Basically: slow-build daddy kink.

Electric Pink Hand Grenade by BeautifulFiction (67K, E) Summary: "If Sherlock's brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse." Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.

Horse And Carriage Series by flawedamythyst (60K, T) Summary: Sherlock proposes. John thinks the whole idea is ludicrous.

Ink Your Name Across My Heart by prettyvk (58K, E) Summary: The metaphor is imperfect but still workable. If my long term memory is a hard drive, then my short term memory is RAM. The hard drive became read-only following the illness. New data is stored in RAM and can be used while I remain awake. Going to sleep – ‘turning off’ – wipes the RAM, returning the system to what it was prior to the illness.

The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (58k, E) Summary: John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is.  But Sherlock refuses to concede the point.  He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue.  The results will determine who wins the prize.  But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

Lost for Words by awanderingbard (57K, M) Summary: Sherlock is assaulted by an unknown assailant while John is away at a medical conference, leaving him with a severe brain injury. While his intellect and personality are intact, he's lost the use of his right-side limbs and his ability to speak freely. John suddenly finds himself as the main source of support, and possibly a caregiver,  to a flatmate who is struggling to do the things he loves most. And Sherlock Holmes has never been the best of patients.

Once Upon a Time by thisisforyou (57K, E)                Summary: Follows an alternate canon wherein John and Sherlock meet as teenagers, but don't remember each other until they are re-introduced at St Bart's. How can we ever really measure the influence we have on other people's lives? Flicks between the main storyline of the two at seventeen and alternate moments throughout canon and their lives before meeting at Bart's.

The Road Less Traveled by verityburns  (57K, M) Summary: Sherlock realises that John's dating habits involve an unacceptable level of risk... what if he meets an unusually tolerant woman and ends up getting married?

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (57K, M) Summary: An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Not the King's Men by StoneWingedAngel (56K, T) Summary: John finds Sherlock three years after he thought he'd buried him, scared and injured; broken to such an extent he can barely recognise those trying to help him. Battling against too many unanswered questions and his own feelings, John sets out to put him back together, but never stops to consider Sherlock's return may be part of a greater punishment in store for the both of them.

Guilty Secrets by Ellipsical (55K, E)                 Summary: John has a prostate exam and discovers something surprising about himself. Experimentation follows. Sherlock wants to help. They're in love. You know the drill.           

Disguise by kaalee (55K, E) Summary: Sherlock's disguises are little more than a nuisance to John until one day he walks into the kitchen dressed as someone from John's past, someone John had tried to forget.                

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (54K, E)                 Summary: Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

End of the Story by kres (54K, E) Summary: Post-Reichenbach. The return, the fallout, the pieces you pick up

Terms of Service by kres (51K, E) Summary: John finds out from the telly.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (51K, E) Summary: Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking. “It was only a twenty-two,” he says, voice unfeeling and unwavering, as though that makes any sense at all.

[blu-joons]

DATING EXO HEADCANON A⇴Z ⇴  Do Kyungsoo

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Kyungsoo loves to cuddle up to you, having you close to him gives him a lot of confidence and support. At times he can be completely shy and wrap himself around you, other times he can dominate and bundle you into a tiny ball.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

When he first saw you, his attention was definitely grabbed. He definitely had his guard up around you to begin with, slowly bringing it down the more he got to know you. It took a while for you to get to know Kyungsoo too, he was a bit of a mystery, but if anything, that attracted you to him more as you tried to figure him out.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

As the guard came down, the feelings for you grew. You always felt as if Kyungsoo left you wondering, so when he told you that he needed to speak to you, you didn’t have a good feeling. But as he began to open up to you, at last, you realised you had nothing to worry about at all. It was a surprise for you to hear how he felt, but as you listened to him, you realised those feelings matched your own for him perfectly too.

D ⇴ DATES

His favourite date with you was one where he could impress you. That normally meant Kyungsoo inviting you to his place and cooking for you. He loved to try new recipes out on you and decorate the table nicely to make an evening of it, never letting you down with anything that he made for you. On other occasions, he loved to take you out for the evening, he was conscious of people keeping an eye on you, so he’d keep these dates very lowkey, all the while making sure that you always had the best time whilst with him.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Kyungsoo was yet to experience a proper relationship before he met you. He’d had a few brief relationships in school, but nothing since his debut. He very quickly became protective of you because he was terrified of how things would be perceived on the outside, he didn’t want to hurt you, and wanted to make sure you were absolutely sure about dating him before doing anything too serious. You loved how protective he was of you, but you also knew how to handle yourself and anything that might come your way.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

The two of you very rarely fought, Kyungsoo was very passionate about a lot, and was very protective of you, sometimes forgetting that you could take care of yourself. You knew he meant well when he did this, so you’d try not to make too big of a deal out of things, but at times Kyungsoo forgot that you didn’t need him to hold your hand. Rather than shout, the two of you were very good at talking, Kyungsoo had worked hard on being able to open up to you, and during the times when you disagreed with each other, he would certainly put that into practice and tell you exactly how he was feeling about the situation.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

He was keen to introduce you to his family quickly as his first proper girlfriend. You were terrified, but Kyungsoo knew that they’d all love you regardless, the fact that anyone could date him was a big enough surprise for his family as they so often loved to tease him, and now thanks to you, he could finally silence them.

H ⇴ HOME

His protective, nurturing nature meant that he wanted to move you into his apartment quite quickly. He knew that it would be safer for you to be around him so that he could keep you safe from people being around your home, not to mention how much he loved to wake up in the mornings and be able to see you beside him.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

You were the first to say, ‘I love you,’ one night when the two of you sat down and talked. Just a few moments later, Kyungsoo said it back, it felt like a natural point that the two of you reached together in your relationship. Neither of you knew what exactly flipped the switch, but the two of you knew straight away that they only answer was love.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Kyungsoo tried not to let himself get jealous, but he was definitely protective if someone got too close. He tried not to cling to you and trusted that you’d be able to handle yourself in any situation, but that didn’t stop him from worrying from time to time. If he was jealous, you’d be able to tell by the look in his eyes, it always was a give away in telling you what was going on. He’d try and protest when you called him out on it, but he knew that you could see right through him and finally he’d admit to how he was feeling.

K ⇴ KIDS

He definitely saw a family with you in the future, it was just a matter of when. Now that his enlistment was completed, he knew that he wanted to start thinking about settling down alongside the group. He wasn’t getting any younger, and he knew that there was no one else that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. When the time was right, he knew that the two of you would have the opportunity to have your family together.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Around you, Kyungsoo really feels like he can be himself. For other people, he leaves a bit of a mystery behind himself but around you, he’s very much an open book. Quite a few people fail to see how funny Kyungsoo is, but you’re so honoured to be one of the few people that get to see that side to him. Whilst around others, he’s quite shy, around you, he’ll do whatever. He loves to know that the things he does make you laugh and can help to brighten up your day whenever you’ve had a tough day at work.

M ⇴ MISSING

He’ll put his guard up on tour, he’ll do whatever he can to prove to everyone, including you, that he’s alright. But on the inside, he’s suffering and struggling without you there. You can tell just by the look in his eyes during interviews that he’s having a difficult time, and whilst he’s happy to pretend to everyone else, the moment the two of you call, you call him out on his mood. He’s stubborn, and so are you, and you’ll wear him down until eventually he admits to how he’s feeling and how desperate he is to see you. He knows its tough, and he tries to be alright, but deep down he misses you a lot and never really knows how to cope. Its hard on you too, never having the right answer as to how you can make him feel better.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

Kyungsoo isn’t a huge fan of nicknames, you’ll usually just call him ‘Kyu,’ but even that is enough to put a smile on his face. Just hearing you mutter his name is enough to send butterflies of excitement around his body.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He’s obsessed with your hands; he loves to have a hold of them and know where you are. It doesn’t matter where the two of you are, he’ll hold them as often as he can and keep you close by.

P ⇴ PDA

Being affectionate in public isn’t a huge deal for Kyungsoo, his affection is usually enough to know where you are and make you feel safe. He’s very private about your relationship, he doesn’t like to share too much and much prefers to keep as much about you to himself as possible to not risk hurting you.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

If he’s not heard from you in a while, he’ll be asking you what’s wrong to make sure you’re safe. He’s known as the mum for a reason, he makes sure to know where you are so that he knows that you’re well looked after and taking care of yourself.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Whilst so much of your relationship is kept private from the world, around the boys is a completely different matter. He can sit for hours and tell them all about you especially and all the qualities he loves about you. When you’re alone with them, they’ll always tell you all the things that Kyungsoo says though so that you can tease him about it whenever you get the chance to see if it really is true or not.

S ⇴ SEX

He quite likes to be the dominant one but will still strive to make things romantic and loving for you. He likes to take his time with you and make you feel loved, sometimes you’ll encourage for more, but Kyungsoo knows what he’s doing. He knows just the touch of his finger is enough to sometimes put you under his spell, he takes his time to know what you like, and once he finds out, he’ll always make sure to use it to his advantage.

T ⇴ TEXTS

If he doesn’t hear from you in a while, sometimes he’ll send you a few panicked texts. He can’t help but worry about you most of the time, he always wants to be there to look after you, and when he’s not, he struggles.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

You were the one that allowed Kyungsoo to be himself. For so long he felt like he needed to be D.O that everyone adored, but there were always sides that he shut off to the world. However, you were the exception, inviting the real him into the world.

V ⇴ VACATION

If he had even just a few days off, Kyungsoo loves to use them to take you away. He was very frank in that he wanted to use the time away from work to focus on you, despite everyone telling him to rest. Wherever in the world you wanted to go, Kyungsoo would make sure to take you, although more often than not, all you wanted was home.

W ⇴ WHINING

He was far too shy to ever whine, he’d sometimes sit with a pout on his face, but that was as usually as Kyungsoo really got, he didn’t want you to hear him whine.

X ⇴ XXXXX

Lots of little kisses was Kyungsoo’s style, he could never just kiss you once, it always had to be twice, and even then, he’d tend to add a few more onto that. Whenever he kissed you, he also liked to have a hold of your body so that he could put you exactly where he wanted you. There would never be any complaints from you though, any bit of affection that you could get from Kyungsoo you’d take, and always repay it back to him.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were the one he trusted, the one he knew would be by his side forever.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Whenever the two of you slept, Kyungsoo loved to have you nice and close. A protective arm would be around you as often as possible, he much preferred to be the big spoon and hold you close into his side to keep you safe.

---

Masterlist

[zevakritpel]

Hell-bent: Chapter 5- Ball is Life

<Chapter 4      Chapter 6>

Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke

Pairing: Aokise, MomoRiko, Kagakuro, MuroMura, more???

u can find this on AO3 lol

Summary: Adult AU, Criminal Underworld AU. Where Kagami Taiga is a young heir suddenly targeted by 6 rather dangerous members of the criminal underworld (each with their own set of personal troubles), and Kuroko is a bodyguard with a dark past.

Warning: Violence, Strong language, a lil dark and angsty sometimes. Getting spicier ;^)

[Saturday. 6 hours ago, at 14:11. Rainbow Road Part 0]

People are always saying how Muro-chin is cold, that his expressions are lifeless, that he's just like a doll. "Disinterested". "Icy". "Unpredictable".

Yeah, okay.

The truth is, Muro-chin is always warm to the touch, he gets pissy easily, and he cares so much about pointless shit that it's annoying. Lifeless dolls probably don't have such bad tempers. Probably.

Where are people even looking? Murasakibara can't fully understand all of Muro-chin's emotions, but he can feel them, in his smell, in the clear beating of his pulse as he grips his wrist.

"Atsushi....Atsushi! Slow down, where are we going?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Explain. Muro-chin seems so desperate to find out what Murasakibara promised to tell him, about his past, about the current game. Honestly, Murasakibara doesn't give a shit if Muro-chin finds out about all the crap that happened, but sitting down to explain it is kind of a pain.

No, it's just painful.

Still, if that's what it takes to satisfy Muro-chin....Murasakibara runs through all possible solutions to the current problem, and uses the process of elimination to reach a decision.

He stops abruptly, causing Himuro to stumble into him, confused.

"Does Masako-chin need us for anything today?"

"I don't think so?"

Okay.

"I need to introduce you to someone."

[Saturday. 20:11. ????!?!??!??!!!!!!]

"Guess again <3"

So close, Kagami can feel the heat of the unfamiliar voice against his ear.

The young heir wastes no time in getting the fuck back, covering about eight meters of distance between himself and...

...this random...pretty-boy.

At first glance, everything about this guy seems non-threatening, from his carelessly open stance, to the amicable look on his face, to the way his hands are covered by the oversized sleeves of his beige wool cardigan. If Kagami didn't know better, he'd assume this is simply some lost blonde ikemen that just happened to find his way into this apartment complex, and nothing more.

But Kagami does know better; while he's not the most 'academically proficient' person, he doesn't need to be to realize that the stranger standing before him was also the one whose bloodlust raised the hairs on the back of his neck for a second back there.

"Ahaha, relax, relax, I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk. You're Kagami Taiga, yes?"

Random Ikemen says this in a light, playful sing-song voice, not really putting Kagami at ease. Like, at all. He's moving forward, reaching for his pocket... for a what? A weapon? If it's a knife, Kagami is fucking ready to engage, fists raised and on alert. If it's a gun.....well, he can play that by ear.

Running does not even occur to him, because he's that kind of idiot.

However, before Random Ikemen can take another step, something metal whizzes past Kagami headed straight for the stranger's arm.

The guy barely moves away in time.

"Can you please refrain from doing whatever it is you are trying to do?"

Kagami never thought he'd be glad to startle at one of Kuroko's heart-stopping phantom appearances, and yet here he is.

He glances down at his bodyguard's face to find there's something....different about his default neutral expression: there's a spark in his big blue eyes that Kagami hasn't seen before.

The stranger, unfazed by the ...wait, is that a kunai?! What kind of weird ass shit does Kuroko carry around.... that had been flung in his direction,  smiles brighter at Kuroko's sudden entrance, and raises his floppy-sleeved palms up in a sign of non-confrontation.

"Ooooaaaa, that was a close one, Kurokocchi! Not holding back, as usual haha!"

Kuroko....cchi?

"It's been a while, Kise-kun."

Hold on.

"Kuroko, you know this guy?!"

The bodyguard shuts his eyes and, if Kagami isn't mistaken, clicks his tongue.

"Oh, Kurokocchi and I go way back. I'm sure he was expecting me <3" Random Ikemen-no, 'Kise', chirps, further driving Kagami into a state of confusion.

Way back..? Expecting...? So he's not here to start shit?

But every one of Kagami's instincts is telling him that this Kise guy is dangerous...much too much to let his guard down.

"Wait. So he's your friend?"

"YEAH!"  "No."

Critical hit. Kise takes a moment to stagger back to a proper standing position, barely recovered from the mental blow.

"Ehhhhh, you're so mean, Kurokocchi. Just because we haven't seen each other in forever...or is it because you switched sides?! But that doesn't mean you can't come back! Play with us again..."

.................switched sides?

Whatever they're talking about, Kuroko isn't having any of it. In his usual cool tone, he rebuffs with:

"I know I've made my stance clear; He should understand by now. This will be the last game, if I can help it. Then, if you'll excuse us. Come on, Kagami-kun."

"Wh-? Okay..?"

Of course, no matter how hard Kuroko smashes the Close Door button, Kise still follows them into the elevator, resulting in a very awkward ride down to the main floor; Kuroko stands in front of Kagami the entire time, not exactly glaring, but still causing Kise to lose a lot of HP with his icy countenance.

"Kuro-"

The disembodied elevator voice lady announcing their arrival to "Lobby" cuts Kise off, and the doors swing open.

Kuroko stays close to Kagami, remarking over his shoulder in a tone that is somehow both harsh and gentle:

"I don't know what your job today is, but I should let you know I won't let you touch Kagami-kun."

Oi, what's this guy saying? Okay, so he's Kagami's bodyguard, but somehow... his delivery is really embarrassing!! And what's this 'won't let', Kagami can take totally this risky blonde thing himself..........maybe.

Kise doesn't look happy about the blunt rejection: he's peeking his fingers from without his sleeves to run his hands against along throat, working through some internal struggle. With great effort, he shrugs it off with:

"Ah, I see, okay.............. Well, don't worry about that, I just wanna talk, I have this lett-"

All three men react at the same time.

Kuroko: Moves forward so fast he appears as a blur, extending his arm out to meet the closest assailant, Mask I, docking the man right in the throat. Mask I goes down, fox mask skewing to the side as their head makes contact with the floor.

Kise: In one motion, he reaches down to pick up the gun of the fallen man, pushes his weight onto his arm enough to flip his entire body over and kick Mask II in the face on his way back down. Foot still in contact with their head, Kise uses it as a stepping stone to head onto the next....head.

Kagami: Instinctively rushing forward, ignoring Kuroko's sharp  "KAGAMI-KUN", dodges the trained, but inferior-to-Taiga strike of a fist, and elbows Mask III right in the masked face.

"Who the fuck are these people?" he shouts over his shoulder, already faced with another attacker. There are fourteen...no fifteen total.

.......what the fuck? Is this a mob raid? Who sent these disposable, culty-looking guys?? Is this what it's going to be like, living as the 'heir' to his old man, or whatever???

HONESTLY.

"Hey. Pretty-boy."

"Ehh, don't look at me, I'm not with these people!"

While Kise's character and Kuroko's treatment of him leave a lot of room for doubt, Kagami has to admit that he's fighting the Masks. Like, pretty one-sidedly.

His fighting style is almost....graceful, not a single unnecessary movement as he drops three, four opponents at once.

Not that Kagami is admiring that weirdo or anything. (Maybe a little.) Either way, he's much distracted by the sudden presence at his back, a stray Mask that must have snuck up behind him. He turns swiftly, using his right arm to block the trajectory of the hand blade that was surely aimed for his throat.

With no hesitation, he rams Mask (??) into the wall and rams his forehead into theirs, cracking both the mask and the assailants consciousness with the blow.

In the same moment, he experiences a sharp pain in his left inner elbow, as well as his shoulder. Still recovering from the self-inflicted head pain, Kagami grits his teeth and prepares to retaliate.

What the fuck is it now?

The heir rips his arm out from whatever grip is holding it and spins around to face this latest Mask attack. The head is lolling slightly, probably from the pressure of Kise's chokehold.

"Aha, that should be the last of them," he chirps brightly, dropping the 'sleeping' man quite unceremoniously onto the ground.

Kagami is left unsettled...did this guy just sav-...have his back?

"Right, Kurokocchi?"

Kuroko nods in affirmation, which is honestly pretty unnecessary, considering there are like seven bodies lying crumple at his feet.

"Are you alright, Kagami-kun?" he asks, and Kagami isn't sure if it's his imagination that he hears a slight waver to the question.

"I'm sorry that you had to get involved yourself..."

"Nah, I'm fine. It's been a while since my last fight, anyways, and this was nothing." Kagami responds, not untruthfully. He's been restless for a while now, and even though the opponents weren't anything special, he still got to see some interesting stuff. However, he still casually tucks his left arm to his body as he's speaking.

"So? What's with the stock mob characters?" he asks, kicking aside one of ones that are still squirming.

"Yes, and how did they get in? Miss Aida has at least five men stationed around the premises."

"She has what?!!"

"Lower your voice please, Kagami-kun"

"Are you KIDDING M-"

"Oh those guys?" Kise interjects, with a thumb pointing back towards the front entrance of the lobby.

"Yeah, I took care of them on my way in, I didn't think it would cause such a mess. Oh, but I didn't kill anyone, so don't worry! Hehe."

Kagami, still not recovered from the fact that Aida seems to have him protected everywhere and at all times, is now having a hard time 'not worrying' about the fact that some sketchy model-looking motherfucker with superhuman abilities, who apparently knows Kuroko, just casually immobilized Aida's personnel singlehandedly.

But okay.

Kuroko's reaction is more of a resigned sigh, as if he should have known all along that's what happened.

"I didn't think they were with you, it's unlike your style."

Kise cheeks flush red and his golden eyes begin to sparkle, as if Kuroko had praised him rather than just made a casual observation. This pisses Kagami off for reasons he can't begin to explain to himself.

The three men simultaneously look down at the scattered assailants.

"But if you didn't bring them, then....surely... they weren't just sent by some normal group looking to cash in the bounty..."

Um? What else would they be?

[Saturday. 20:15. Bad News]

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Riko is distraught.

"Are you seriously telling me this is supposed to Momoi Satsuki?!!???"

Mitobe has already confirmed that yes, the picture in Aida Riko's hands is indeed a recent Polaroid snapshot of said informant (which was by no means easy to obtain, but Mitobe wasn't sent on this mission for nothing). Confirmed by at least two of her regulars. All he can do now is wait for Riko's, uhh, passionate reaction to subside.

"She's way too fucking hot..." Riko mutters through gritted teeth, clenching the photograph with trembling hands.

"Isn't this unreasonable? Shouldn't someone with her job be more, I don't know, lowkey? Like, the size of those...and her face...UGH."

".................?"

"What is she so upset about? Well...I think I can guess," Koganei whispers back to Mitobe. He'd use hand gestures to elaborate, but he's still in pain from recent events and doesn't need the holy wrath of Riko to rain down on him on the off chance she notices, in the midst of her (blood?)thirst-fueled rage.

"Oh jeez, she threw it against the wall. Must be tough, realizing your enemy is so attractive, huh?"

"......................"

"Well, she seems to think we were attacked by this Momoi's people, but she still hasn't been able to confirm it, so the revelation of Momoi Satsuki's appearance has been a....blow. God knows how long this display will last haha...."

[Saturday. 20:26. Ciao]

"HUH. What do you mean?!"

"I said," Kise repeats patiently, flapping the photograph and resume in his hand to emphasize his words yet again.

"I'm acting as a messenger for Xx-chan-...umm, Miss Xx of the Xx Family who decided, after news of your existence was leaked through underground channels, that she wanted to arrange a marriage meeting with you. Here's her profile!"

Kagami's hands pretty much move on their own to accept this absurd proposition, as his mind is still trying to reconcile what was just said.

"What. That was your job? That's it?"

He casts a quick look at Kuroko, who shakes his head. Okay, yeah, calling bullshit.

Though this all seems pretty real.......

Also:

"Then why did you fuck with security?!"

Kise winks, he actually winks, and answers without a shred of shame:

"There's no way Kurokocchi would have let me even come close to the building if he'd known I was coming!"

This time, Kuroko nods gravely.

"Though I can't blame him for worrying I'd be up to something worse. You know," Kise suddenly gets close to Kagami, and the heir feels the same shiver as before overcome him. Kise's voice drops down to a dangerous murmur, half-seductive, half-warning.

"If everything goes well for you two, and you manage to survive the others, I'll definitely be back for more."

Kagami pushes him back, his heart pounding in his chest harder than when he was fighting the Masks.

Kise receives this with a smile, flashing a goodbye in the form of a cheeky two fingered salute.

" You're pretty fun, let's play again! And Kurokocchi, even if you don't reconsider, I'll still..."

Pause.

He leaves just like that, as if he had never been here in the first place.

[Saturday. 20:30. Straightforward.]

"What.....was that all about??? I'm so fucking confused"

"I didn't think I'd be faced with such an elusive start. I'm sorry, Kagami-kun, for everything. He...Kise-kun...we met when we were children. There are others as well, on a team, and our upbringing was...unorthodox."

"So you're like childhood friends?"

More like child soldiers.

"I can't explain myself well in this environment, but...in any case, when I caught wind that my former...teammates were assigned to attack you I saw it as my chance. To atone not only for my own sins, but also stop them at any cost. And you just happened to be the main target."

I thought it would be more straight forward, like it was in the past.

"..............o-...oh."

[Saturday. 20:31. Was This Even Necessary For Me To Put This Short Bit In? No, But I Sure Did It Anyways]

A rather happy 8-bit tune resounds through the room, and Riko immediately snaps back to reality to pick up her phone.

"Kuroko? Sorry I didn't contact you until now, I couldn-.........................WHAT?!"

[Saturday. 20:38. For Now]

"Yes. Yes, the situation is under control. I've managed to make contact with the disarmed security, they seem to be fine. Yes. Yes, ma'am. I am sorry about all of this. No, aside from a few scratches. .......yes. Alright. Take care, we will be waiting for you inside the lobby. Yes. Thank you."

A dense silence falls after Kuroko hangs up. The bodyguard forces himself to sneak a glance at Kagami, who is sitting slumped against the wall of his apartment's entrance, head bowed, the shadows over his face making it impossible to read his expression.

Kuroko had known the truth would come out sooner or later, and it's not as if he had done anything wrong, but somehow...there's an itchy, nervous feeling in the back of his throat.

".......Kagami-kun, I-"

Without warning, Kagami stands up suddenly, and Kuroko's words falter.

Is he upset? He has every right to be, being used yet again by the person who's supposed to protect him.

Well, it shouldn't matter, Kuroko can still protect him, there's no particular reason the young master has to like him. But somehow....

"AAAAH. What the hell was up with that, anyways? Geez, am I seriously that valuable? Or is shit always like this in this country? I don't get it. And you,"

He turns directly to Kuroko.

"You know some seriously annoying people."

Kuroko blinks with surprise. He's not wrong.

"But he was strong....really strong. That Kise guy. He didn't even do anything to me, but I couldn't go against him."

The young heir's red eyes are positively blazing now. What was it about this brief exchange that's got him so fired up?

"........Interesting. I don't really get what this 'game' is, but if it means breaking out of this dull life...we'll be up against more interesting guys like that?"

We'll be up against? Kuroko never fails to be amazed by Kagami's boundless energy and passion. Where does it come from...

"You're not upset that you're involved with my former colleague, and the only reason I agreed to guard you was for my own personal dispute with them ?"

"Ummmm" kagami rubs the back of his head, sharp eyes angled back in thought.

"I don't really understand that complicated shit.? The way I see it, we're on the same side, right? Like, us, against...I'm not sure? I'm guessing there's history there you don't really want to talk about? Is it important for me to know?"

Kuroko takes a minute to process this, slowly running through the words over in his head.

"......................Kagami-kun really is an idiot, aren't you?"

".....................you wanna fucking go?"

But Kagami's expression softens, and he turns his head quickly, leaving Kuroko to note the red flush on the tips of his ears.

"Ahhhh, I'm hungry! We still didn't get to eat" The young heir remarks with unnecessary force, looking anywhere but at Kuroko.

Before Kuroko can respond, the loud shrieking of car breaks sounds from the outside, followed by an aggressive slam of a car door.

3

2

1

Click.

BAM.

Aida flies through the door like a bullet. She's wearing a leather holster over her bandaged shoulder, which can be seen from without her poorly buttoned shirt. Her cheeks are flushed, probably from running like hell to get here.

"Oh, thank GOD."

Her check-up takes less than a second, as she discerns that all injuries sustained by the young master are minimal. Afterwards, her body twitches as she makes a motion to throw her arms around Kagami, hesitates, then punches him right in the abdomen.

"When I got the phone call, I thought my heart was going to stop," she murmurs tearfully, ignoring Kagami's belligerent reaction to her method of showing affection.

"Thank goodness you're barely hurt."

"Ummm, you're one to talk, what happened to you?!"

"... Just a scratch, don't you worry" Riko brushes off the question pretty poorly, pulling back to her usual self. She stands back to take a look at the unconscious assailants. She turns over one of them with the heel of her boot, frowning deeply as she scrutinizes his bloodied features.

"This guy..." she mutters, clearly to herself, light brown eyes narrowed in recognition, Kuroko is sure of it.

"That's fine. I'll deal with the rest of the situation here. Jesus, you guys really did a number on these bastards. Oh, and you mentioned a third party, Kuroko?"

"..Yes. He just came to deliver a marriage proposal on behalf of the Xx family. He...left the premises unscathed."

"Hmmm."

Aida bites the knuckle of her index finger as she mulls over her options. Kuroko knows she's nigh-openly suspicious of him, as she has every right to be. But she's also overwhelmed by every single person that wants to kill, kidnap, kiss, and corrupt her principle, Kagami Taiga, and in the end she opts for safety first, answers later:

"Get Kagami-kun to safehouse B. We'll talk later."

It's only a matter of time before everything comes out into the open, but it's nice to have some buffer between truth reveals.

Which is fine. Judging from Kagami-kun's reaction.... it'll work out fine.

"What are you smiling about?"

Kuroko startles at the question: he's never been accused of 'smiling about' something before.

"Was I?"

"Yeah.."

A perfect idiot.

[Saturday. 21:43. Fancy Pants x2]

It has been a while since this house last received a welcome visitor. All kinds of worthless criminals, rebellious elements, 'friends of the family' have been passing through, clouding the halls with their unseemly presence; those who wish to use and to be used, in the worst possible ways.

So for the first time in a long time, Akashi Seijuro finds himself smiling, if only slightly, at the sound of the shoji door sliding open from behind him.

He waits until the soft pad of footsteps on the tatami floor close up next to him before turning around to face his 'guest', who kneels before him. A vial of red liquid slips from out of his sleeves and is placed in front of Akashi, like an offering.

"You're late," he begins, shutting his left eye as he speaks.

"Ryouta."

"Geeeez, Akashicchi, did you know those hit men were going to be there today?"

"As much as you did."

Ryouta lets out a brief peal of laughter, sinking his weight more comfortably against his feet.

"Was it really necessary to get me to sneak blood out of the poor kid? I'm sure there were more legit ways to take care of that..."

"Not so. It seems Kagami Sr. has taken great pains to keep any official or unofficial contact away from his heir."

"Is that so? I guess I wouldn't want strangers putting needles in my son. If I had a son."

This house is usually cold, too cold, but right now Akashi is feeling comfortably warm. It's nice.

"Still, I'm surprised no one asked for blood samples or DNA proof until after the bounty."

"That is because I was the one that originally leaked the information of the existence of the Kagami heir. And my word is absolute"

Ryouta looks amused by this, and he hums in agreement with a curt nod of his head.

His outer appearance is almost too relaxed, but Akashi can tell with a glance that he's strained: the muscles in his jaw are slightly tensed; his hands, which are hidden by his sleeves, are clearly balled into tight fists, pressed against his thighs. His eyes are clear, but for how long?

Akashi sees everything.

"I trust you're ready for the second phase. Or has your resolve wavered now that you've met with Tatsuya?"

Ryouta shakes his head once, twice. He's biting the inner part of his bottom lip.

"Akashicchi.....this game is a little different than the others, huh?"

"The general goal remains the same."

"........Yeah? Well."

The model accepts the envelope detailing his next role to play. Judging from his reluctance, Akashi can tell he already knows the contents. Still, Kise makes no complaint.

He just smiles.

Akashi feels another throb in the back of his left eye.

Next.

[Saturday. 22:05. Bad Girls Do It Well]

Momoi would like to believe her upbringing has lead her to a solid grasp on basic domestic life skills.

Setting cooking aside (she's in denial), the lady is proficient in such things including: sewing (you know, like... sewing wounds shut), handling cleaning products and chemicals (uhhh, though more often than not for uses outside their 'intended purpose'...), wielding kitchen knives (okay, maybe not so much 'kitchen' knives as just any and all forms of blades), and of course, removing blood from all kinds of materials.

That said, it looks like it's going to take more than some cold water to save her dress, which is currently reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting. Since no one actually died spattering their blood on the fine crêpe chiffon, there's no need to burn it,  so it looks like Momoi's due for a trip to the dry cleaner's...it's been a while.

Ahh, well. Before any of that, the information broker needs to shower off the sweat of today's unexpected labours: turns out the surprise attackers that drove Aida away, subsequently ruining Momoi's plans, were a group of skilled but terribly unfortunate punks from a small gang running loose on the West end of the city.

After spending a good nine hours hunting down the instigators, Momoi had to twist their arms a bit (metaphorically, but also literally) to get them to admit to trying to sabotage Aida Riko because of the recent Kagami Taiga bounty that was issued.

Momoi does not doubt the sincerity of their words, mostly because her little blood-letting demonstration on team leader really showed them exactly how serious she can be. However, her suspicions regarding the incident, especially how convenient it was for these randoms to just happen to come in at that particular moment, are growing stronger. Well, enough about that..

Before she knows it, Momoi's already pulled up to the street next to Dai-chan's apartment. This often happens, her body just finding its way over here, especially after particularly strenuous jobs. That's the power of lifelong friendship, for you.

Checking for any stray late night passersby, Momoi gets out of her car and makes her way up to Aomine's door, which she opens using one of several spare keys she had made.

She steps into the living room to find her childhood friend lying with his back on the ground, surrounded by files and papers. While Momoi knows he's been working much harder now that Tetsu-kun and a game is involved, but even so, it's a little disconcerting to see him awake at home at this hour, when he's usually sleeping or out ...philandering.  

"Satsuki," this disturbingly diligent Aomine starts, waving a dossier, not bothering to comment on Momoi's disturbing appearance.

"What exactly is it about this plain woman that's got you so fired up?"

Momoi doesn't need to look at the file to know what he's talking about. She snatches the file out of his hands and puts in on his face.

"Dai-chan isn't the only one that's starving for some real competition, you know?"

Aomine smacks the file off his face and turns his head to the side with an almost-pout.

"You keep saying that shit. I'm not starvin-"

"You mean you didn't quit working for Katsunori because you were hoping he'd send divine retribution your way and you'd finally get the challenge you wanted?"

Aomine has no response for this outside an unintelligible grunt. Nice comeback.

"Aida Riko..... Although she's young, she's known for rising the ranks fast to take over Kagami's security from her father, as well as her exceptional analytical abilities. You're reading her reports, you should know all the delicious things she's accomplished. Besides,"

Momoi places a finger to her smiling lips.

"There's nothing I love more than taking serious, righteous people down a peg."

"Wow, you don't look it, but you're actually quite the sadist, aren't you, Satsuki?"

This time, Momoi doesn't have a response.

"Well! I'm going to use your shower."

"Hmm? Yeah."

Seems he's now preoccupied with a text message he just received.

Momoi gets halfway to the bathroom before walking back and peeking her head into the doorframe.

"By the way, how'd your confession go?" she teases, making sure she gets a good look at Aomine's face to gauge his reaction.

"Hah??? Stop opening your mouth, Satsuki, if only shit comes out of it. What confession?"

.....................................is what Momoi expects to hear.

She doesn't expect Aomine to pause, crinkle his nose in thought, then rest his arm over his forehead with a heavy sigh, still clutching his clutching the cellphone in his hand.

Oi, oi. You've got to be kidding.

"Hey, Satsuki. There's no way Tetsu's gonna go along with that idiot, right?"

"..I think Ki-chan knows that as well."

"Yeah.....so he really hasn't changed. Still chasing after the same old shit."

Momoi's not sure, but it's starting to sound more and more like Dai-chan is talking about himself. She blinks a few times, still thrown back by this sudden burst of honesty.

"........................"

"Satsuki?"

"Dai-chan, are you not feeling well?"

"Huh?"

"A fever maybe? Let me check your temperature."

"Wh- Don't touch me with your gross bloody hands, that's disgusting."

"You sit tight and wrap a blanket around yourself, I'll go make you some rice porridge."

"What, you're going to make me 'food' so I get sick for real? I'm good, thanksss."

"DAi-chAN"

Aomine has to physically get up to usher Momoi into the bathroom. He throws a clean towel in the room and slams the door shut, leaving his childhood friend to raise her eyebrows at the state of the shower. Eugh... he really should clean this up.

She strips off her dress and drapes it over the sink, suddenly overcome by the realization that she has nothing else to wear.

Wrapping the towel around her body, she cautiously exits the bathroom, calling for Aomine:

"Hey, I don't have a change of clothes is it okay if I use your-.......eh, where'd he go?"

She's met with the sound of the apartment entrance door clicking shut.

[Saturday. 22:16. T_T]

Text message: [Unknown: Same place we met earlier today.]

He's sitting there at the bus stop, with his head tilted up and resting against the back of the bench. His skin looks especially pale under the surrounding sickly white fluorescent lights, and his golden eyes are glassy and unfocussed as they stare up at the bleary night sky.

Ah, that's no good.  That spaced-out, apathetic expression is reminiscent of a Kise from long ago.

"You actually came for me," Kise notes with a small laugh, sitting up to greet Aomine with what cannot possibly be a genuine smile, not when he was making that face literal seconds ago.

"I didn't think you would."

"Hmph. Why'd you wait, then." Aomine retorts in a rude tone, as if he doesn't actually care to know the answer. He does.

Kise starts to laugh. He holds a hand to his mouth to stifle the sound.

"Doesn't matter anyways, I was already dumped once today."

Slowly, the giggles die out, becoming quieter and quieter, but his shoulders continue shaking until Aomine realizes that Kise isn't laughing.

He's choking back sobs.

AH! WAIT. AHH.

"I know he's not in the wrong, of course K-kurokocchi knows what he's doing. I don't know what but.... but it still hurts."

Tears just start gushing down his cheeks. Something akin to panic wells up inside Aomine's chest, but more than that... this kind of reaction is good. It's good. Compared with the blank Kise from before....

"It still hurtssssss. All I ever wanted was to play together again. B-but I can tell it's not gonna be the saaaaaaame this time."

He covers his face with his forearm, and continues crying.

He's this upset over Tetsu, huh. Since the beginning, Aomine's been ignoring the reality of meeting Tetsu again, and what that's going to mean for him. The emotions are too many and conflicting to deal with, and besides, Aomine's in control of his own feelings. He just needs to uhh...focus on what's in front of him, for now.

For once.

He waits until the sobs subside before slapping Kise on the back. Hardly comforting, and he can tell there's a lot more Kise wants to say, but...that can wait.

"Alright, alright. I get it. Just come back to my place."

He says this in a gruff voice, causing Kise to sniffle and squint up at Aomine with watery red eyes. Somehow being stared at directly like that...Aomine looks away.

"Eh? Why's Aominecchi being so nice......................... Haha that's kinda creepy. Are you okay?"

First Satsuki, now this. These people are so rude, what the fuck exactly is their impression of Aomine?!????

"Sh...shut up. Let's go."

.

Kise's mood improves greatly as they walk their way back to Aomine's apartment. He doesn't say much, but he lets out a hum every so often that Aomine is almost concerned. An emotional Kise is much harder to handle, he'd forgotten.

He pushes open at his unlocked door...

only to be greeted by a dripping wet Momoi, who is clad in what is obviously Aomine's shirt and a pair of his boxers.

"Momo...cchi? What are you... doing here?"

Shit, Aomine had completely forgotten about Satsuki. He feels this situation slipping out of his grasp, and before he can think of the reason WHY he's panicking, Aomine turns to Kise to explain:

"Oi, Kise, don't misundersta-"

"MOMOCCHI!!" Kise cuts him off to run up to Momoi and collapse into her arms, body slumped to match her height.

"KI-CHAN!!"

"Momocchi...sob..."

Kise's waterworks start up again, and the model bawls into Satsuki's shoulder while she rubs his back with a soothing "there, there!" and stares her pink eyes directly into Aomine's. She doesn't need to say anything for Aomine to read the look she's giving him.

She does anyways.

"Don't be jealous, Dai-chan." Momoi mouths, still consoling the sobbing blonde mess with gentle hushes.

Who's jealous?

"You can comfort Ki-chan all night long" she continues, this time with enough volume to the whisper that Kise pulls back, blinking the tears out of his eyes.

"Did you say something, Momocchi?"

"Yes, it's pretty late, you should just sleep over here tonight. RIGHT, Aomine-kuni??"

Two pairs of sparkly expectant eyes stare back at Aomine.

After a pause, he clicks his tongue and turns to leave the room.

"Suit yourself."

[Rainbow Road Part 1. Earlier on Saturday, sometime around 15:11]

A bar?

Of all the places Himuro could have imagined Atsushi dragging him out to....

It had taken about an hour to reach this place, situated on the West side of the city. Neither swanky nor sketchy, the easily missed building holds a sign up front that reads "D R I V E". As it's still early in the day, the interior looks completely empty, with some chairs still stacked upside down on the tables.

As Himuro and Murasakibara go through the door, a very small bell heralds their passage through the entrance, and they step into a small, but tastefully furnished establishment.

Oak wood panels, glossy black furniture, impeccably clean.

The only other person in the room is a raven-haired man standing behind the bar, wiping a crystal glass with a white rag. He freezes upon the arrival of the gangsters, mouth set into a hard line as he somehow stares right through both of them.

"........................................................."

Murasakibara is the first to break the silence with:

"'Sup, senpai."

Whoah, whoah, whoah, senpai?

"What the fuck are ya doing here?"

Despite his words, the barkeep's tone isn't hostile, only faintly exasperated. Himuro has never met anyone aside from Madame Araki to speak to Atsushi in this way. And such familiarity...

The man flashes his light grey eyes over to Himuro, and for a breath of a moment he looks taken aback.

"And why'd you bring the Dragon with you? Actually, how'd you find me?"

Murasakibara waves away the barrage of questions with a lazy shake of his head. A lock of his violent hair ends up covering his face; he does nothing to remedy this.

"This place isn't bugged, right? So do me a favour and-"

"A favour?"

"-and just explain some shit to Muro-chin, k?"

"No, it's not 'k', I have a job. Explain what? You're as unbelievable as always."

"Is it a big deal? Just tell him about Teiko."

"If it's not a big deal, then do it yourself."

"..............."

"..............................ugh. It'll cost you."

"Like, I know the deal, okay. It's fine if I'm back in two, riiiight?"

"Goddamnit, Murasakibara. Okay. Can you turn the sign up front to close the bar on your way out?"

"Yeah, yeah. Okay, Muro-chin, this guy's gonna answer all your questions, so I'll be back later, k?"

"What. No, wait, Atsushi--..ahh he's gone."

And with that, the door's bells tinkle with one final farewell, leaving Himuro alone to face the strange angry barkeep. He can feel those grey eyes scrutinizing him, his gaze unwavering, so he just stares back and waits.

"You really are as breathtaking as they say," the man finally states, matter-of-factly, and finally sets down the glass he was wiping.

"Damn that Murasakibara for dumping this on me without warning, but I can't say I'm too upset to listen to your request."

.............................So Himuro wasn't being sized up.. he was just being checked out? Well, at least he's used to that by now.

"....You seem to know who I am."

"Well. The Araki Clan isn't exactly an unknown current in the underworld."

Himuro struggles for a moment to think of the best way to ask this man who the fuck he is and what the fuck is happening. If he's a recommendation from Atsushi, he must at least be trustworthy....ah, but is that true? This is the first time Atushi has ever introduced Himuro to anyone, there's no real precedent for this situation.

"What is .... Teiko? You mentioned it earlier.."

"Oh, cutting straight to the chase are we? How much do you know about what Murasakibara was doing before he joined up with the mafia?"

"Only bits and pieces of what Atsushi told me. He was placed with some other children, they were all trained...to kill, and do other things. Ummm, one of them is a model now, I think?"

"That's all?"

"Uh....Haizaki Shougo,"

The barkeep's eye visibly twitches.

"I met him the other day. He told me that these people play 'games', that change every time. Though he said it was just a 'fucking farce'....well, he said other things along that vein."

The barkeep grimaces for a moment, then reaches below the bar to pull out two bottles of alcohol, one reddish-brown, the other clear.

He drops four icecubes, 1 2 3 4 into a glass, and pours in the bottles while maintaining eye contact with Himuro.

"You really are in the dark, though it's not surprising. And you feel personally invested because...?"

Himuro hesitates: how badly does he want to share personal information with a stranger in a public (albeit closed) bar. On the other hand, while Atsushi might be a little 'out of it' so to speak, Himuro trusts his intuition. And he did say this place wasn't bugged.

"Their collective target this time is Kagami Taiga...I have a lot of history with this person, and I didn't even know he was in the country until Atsushi brought up his mission. I don't want to get involved in the bounty, I just want to see him again, and understand..."

Nijimura nods, slides over the finished drink.

"What is this?"

"Just drink it."

"Oh, no thank you?"

"If you want to hear the whole story, you're gonna want to start drinking."

Himuro isn't generally considered 'obedient', but he complies, taking a tentative sip. It's bitter, but the burning feeling in his throat is not unwelcome.

"Thanks...uhh.."

"Ah that's right, I forgot," barkeep finally smiles, holding his hand out to Himuro to shake.

"Sorry I didn't introduce myself: you can call me Nijimura."

[Sunday. 00:02. Mild Spice]

"Good luck, Midorimacchi!"

"Die."

"Ehh-"

But Midorima has already hung up.

Kise sighs and flops onto his back, flinging his phone somewhere closer to the pillow. He spreads his arms out, acknowledging that today has been a long fucking day.

Aominecchi sure likes to pimp out his sleeping places: the bed is spacious, queen-sized, covered in several layers of silky soft sheets. It smells like him, too.

He could just lie here forever and ever and ever and never leave, that would be bliss. Mhm.

"Yo. Get the hell off my bed."

"Awwww, come on, Aominecchi. Momocchi's got the futon in the spare room, and you can't expect me to sleep on a couch."

"I don't care, get out of the bed. Die."

Ooooh, twice in a minute. That's got to be a record.

Kise just shuts his eyes and folds his hands over his chest. He's way too comfy and tired and willful right now to give this up.

"Noooooo. There's room enough for both of us, isn't there?"

"Like hell there is."

It isn't until Kise feels his place in the bed sink under a weight that he blinks his eyes open once again.

Too close.

Sitting on the side of the bed, one hand pinned down by Kise's head.

He's still wet from his bath, his hair and the neckline of his white t-shirt both soaked. He's frowning, but there's a certain glow to his dark blue eyes. Rather than menacing, Aomine looks...

A tiny drop of water rolls off his face and drips onto Kise's mouth.

"Heh," Kise actually smirks, licking his lower lip.

"Are you gonna make me, Aominecchi?"

"Why," Aomine starts, his deep voiced laced with confliction, his brows knitted with some internal agony.

"Should I share My bed with you!? Only I'm allowed to sleep in my bed!"

And with that, he scoops his hands under Kise's back in order to slam dunk the model right onto the ground.

But Kise is ready with a counter: without hesitation, he wraps his legs around Aomine's waist before he can be tossed off the mattress.

This leads to a brief struggle that ends up with both men tumbling onto the ground. Aomine hits the back of his head against the wall, while Kise, landing on top of him, smacks his forehead into the same wall a moment after.

"Ah, FUCK."

After a brief recovery period of groaning and clutching of their respective head injuries, Aomine and Kise move to untangle themselves from this mess.

"What the fuck are you doing??"

"Ummm, you were the one that started it?"

"HUH?"

Aomine manages to sit up, rubbing his head, with Kise now sitting between his outstretched legs, his thighs still on either side of Aomine's waist. An only marginally less precarious position than the one before.

They glare at each other for a good long minute, gold vs. dark blue.

Kise feels the heat rise in his cheeks.

"Jeez, Aominecchi, you're so inhospitable" he pouts, grinding his hips forward...just a bit. To test.

"Yeah, well you're just fucking annoying" Aomine snaps back, fingers twitching several times before he cautiously slides his hands onto the small of Kise's slightly-arched back, and pulls him even closer towards himself.

"Then why'd you let me cry all over you? Hmmm?" Kise teases, tilting his head to the side, aware that he's treading in dangerous, dangerous territory.

"It's 'cause I'm so great." Aomine replies, brushing his lips against the side of Kise's throat.

The model runs his own fingers through the short blue locks of Aomine's hair. Hmph, not as soft as his own, but that's to be expected.

"Hey, Aominecchi. Are you sure about this-? Ahh."

"Mhm"

The sensation of Aomine's nipping under his Adam's apple almost makes Kise lose his train of thought.

"Like, really, really sure??"

"Mmmhm."

"'Cause you know, you cast me aside in the past, so I was sure you hated m-MPH!"

Aomine pulls back but keeps his head lowered, hand over Kise's mouth all the while.

"Shut up. And what about you?" he mutters into Kise's neck, still not moving.

"Are you okay with this? Even after all this..."

Aominecchi with such stunning lack of confidence is a rare sight...and yet he's not pushing Kise away. He's clinging, pleading in his own way.

Kise can't respond with words, especially not with his mouth covered like this. So he wraps his fingers around Aomine's wrist and pulls his hand away just enough...to kiss his palm.

Run his tongue along the length of Aomine's middle finger, then suckle at his fingertips.

This is Kise's answer.

Naturally, Aomine finally raises his head at this (un?)expected response, and Kise can feel the heat of his dark blue gaze.

He is transfixed with the situation for a while longer, slipping in his index and ring fingers into Kise's mouth as well. But he pulls them out soon enough, to tilt Kise's chin up and sink his teeth into Kise's lower lip, hard, eliciting a small moan of happiness from the model.

After the bite comes a soft kiss.

This is how they are.

Notes from AO3:

So that mild spice piece ^ wasn't anything too risky, i thought, but uhhh, not sure i can say the same for whatever happens next chapter. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyways, tag yourself i'm kise responding to 'pretty-boy' as if it's natural

Some fun facts about this chapter, to distract u from my messy plot holes and late update: -the drink rainbow-senpai made for himuro is called a 'godmother', which i chose just 'cause muro works for yakuza queen Araki Masako lmao idk -in the character's bible, mitobe's hobby is actually listed as 'photography'. works out great considering i totally didn't know this when i made him riko's photo-informant LOL - i didn't feature zaki, but did i really need to, he was probably at home wearing vegeta's 'badman' shirt, obsessing over ryou~~ta -I DIDN'T REALLY FEATURE MIDORIN AND I AM SORRY FOR THAT? like he's next in line to fsu, but i just kind of thought i'd post this and i feel so bad. i love u carrot boy.

[thoughtlesstales]

Come Home to Me | Chapter Two

Title: Come Home to Me | Chapter Two Word Count: 4026 Rating: Teen Relationship: Oliver Queen x Felicity Smoak Characters: Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen, Sara Lance, John Diggle, Thea Queen, Roy Harper Triggers: Angst, violence

Three Years later -

“Damn Felicity,” Diggle laughed dragging out her name as he watching as the petite blonde floored a rather stunned and off balance Sara. Standing up straight and catching the towel Dig threw in her direction, Felicity wiped the shining sweat from her heated skin. It had taken a long time for this day to come, the day Felicity was able to put the Black Canary on her ass. Though she was pretty sure, Sara had been going easy on her. She had spent most of her days in the Foundry if she wasn’t at QC as their Technical whatever of IT - when Oliver left she want back down to the lower levels of QC - it had taken her a while to get where she was in her job and life; and with the help of Dig and Sara she was getting there, she was getting to the point where she may be able to let go soon, let go of him and the pain he has caused her.

She was breathing hard and the adrenalin was still pumping through her at a quick pace. Turning on her heel she grinned at Diggle, eyes dancing with laughter. “You next?” she asked wrapping the towel around her neck, using the ends of the towel to pat at the sweat running down her face.

“No, for now I think I’m good,” he rumbled raising his hands and stepping up from his perch on Felicity’s desk, John had been watching Sara and Felicity spar for the last half an hour and this time, Felicity really was giving as good as she got. She had grown strong and agile over the years, her body solid with muscle yet still as feminine as ever.

Felicity looking down at a grinning Sara who was looking up at her as she rested on the backs of her forearms. Felicity couldn’t believe she had finally been able to put her down after years of both Sara and John training her. She offered her hand out to to the other and helped pull her too her feet.

“You did good Felicity,” Sara said proudly touching her shoulder gently, squeezing it just like Oliver used to. “Ollie would be proud,” she nodded her voice going quiet and the hurt lacing her eyes along with a hint of anger she couldn’t quite rid. When Sara had found out Oliver had upped and left John, Felicity and his family, she couldn’t believe it to start with. Yes he had been flaky and unreliable, but that was the old him, not the man that had come back from the island.

The man who had come back from the island had be strong, brooding and more than anything else, true to the people he loved. Sara had stuck around after that, no one one was sure sure whether it was to make something up to John and Felicity for Oliver’s mistake or for company. Unlike Oliver, Sara hadn’t come back to her family and as much as she wanted to be with her family again, she couldn't let them see the person she had become, they were better off remembering who she used to be.  

Felicity couldn’t reply, she couldn’t find the words, even after three years she still struggled with hearing his name, it was like a trigger. She was better than used to be, whenever she used to hear his name she would cry or go silent for days. “Shall we hit the showers and then dinner?” Sara asked changing the subject and dragging Felicity from her own mind.

“Sure,” she nodded her lips curling into a slight smile. Though it didn’t reach her eyes like the previous ones had.

Over the three years Oliver had been gone, Felicity had done many things to pass the time. One of which was redo the ‘Arrow-cave’ again. Things were sleeker, more technology oriented and this time there was a proper bathroom/shower/locker room and med bay in place, with the all the equipment to do major surgery if they needed to do, though Felicity seriously hoped they never had to. There were two showers which the girls used more than Dig and it occupied more of their clothing that it did Dig’s and it had been done to look like a normal gym locker room, they even had their names on the locker doors, Felicity was nothing if not detail oriented.  

“Yanno, I never thought I’d do it,” Felicity spoke quietly as she braided her wet blonde hair in to a simple plat, tying the end and letting it fall down her back. She watched Sara tie her own wet hair into a bun on top of her head before answering Felicity, her bright blue eyes training on her with a questioning look..

“You’re stronger than you look Felix,” Sara grinned using the nickname she had picked up after seeing some advert for cat food and after that Felicity wasn’t sure she should be offended that she had the nickname of a cat. Felicity hated it, well not as much as she used, and if she was going to be honest with herself it was secretly growing on her.

“Seriously that name you gotta stop with it ,” she laughed shaking her head. “cohen tried calling it me the other day,”

“Damn and I missed it?” Sara choked on her laughter making a fuss about missing her nickname taking effect on the people in Felicity’s life. As quickly as she had started laughing and joking about, she sobered up. “I’m being serious though, you are way stronger than you think and today and everyday since he left has proven that.” Sara had become like a rock for Felicity, as soon as she had heard Oliver had left she had come back to see if it was true and she just never left.

Felicity wasn’t worried by Oliver’s and Sara’s history, if anything it was the thing that made them closer. Felicity’s braid bobbed against her back, he glasses slipping slightly down her nose as she looked down. “Sometimes it’s just hard, like I don’t know what I’m doing. After he left I realised how much of my life revolved around him,” she confessed wrapped her arms around herself and holding on. “He was everything to me, he helped me grow from the geeky IT girl into who I am today or was three years ago,” she sighed eyeing Sara gauging her reaction. Sara only nodded, she understood her. Oliver was once her everything, at the time whens he got on the ‘Queen’s Gambit’ with him, she couldn’t see beyond the billionaire playboy he was; she never saw the real him until it was too late.

“Now look at the life you’ve created for yourself? Look at what you’ve accomplished,” Sara spun around arms out as she made point of Felicity looking round the Foundry. “When he left you could have stopped all this, but you didn’t. This place is just as much yours as it was his, the ‘Emerald Archer’ may not hunt the streets no more, but the Black Canary and her dutiful side kick do and all under the watchful eye of their Felix.” Sara talked sense, more sense that Facility would like to admit.

“I seriously hope I am not the sidekick,” Diggle frowned appearing freshly showered, now wearing black shirt and jeans instead of the sweats and vest he had been wearing earlier.

“Of course not,” Sara grinned winking at Felicity who just laughed, she was laughing more and more since that day. She had spent so long close off from the world, hiding away and letting herself close down. Well at the beginning she had, but she couldn’t do that, she had people to think of, she had a life to lead, she may not have been able to see a life without Oliver in the beginning, but now she nearly had everything she ever dreamed off. Watching the banter between Sara and John was enough to brighten anyone’s day, they worked well as team. Felicity didn’t know whether it was out of respect of finishing what Oliver had started or that they were  genuinely caught up in protecting the city from the ones who were failing it.  

“You know we love you John,” Felicity chuckled rising from her chair and leaning over to give him a swift kiss on the cheek. “Now I seriously need food,” she moaned clutching her stomach like she was starving. Diggle and Sara laughing moving themselves around the Foundry to pick up bags and coats. Felicity did the same and together they left as the small family they had become.

They stepped inside Big Belly Burger, instantly getting a greeting from Carly, Dig’s sister in law. “I’ll be with you in a sec,” she called nodding towards an empty table across from her. The trio sat down and needn't bother look at the menu because they all had the same every time they came in. Carly knew this and their food was in front of them with in minutes, thanks to Diggle calling ahead and telling Carly to get the order in.

“I seriously think I have put on like an extra hundred pounds,” Sara groaned gripping the barely there amount of stomach she hand and that was only because she was puffing her stomach out. “You guys are making me fat!” she complained wagging her finger, but in the process throwing a fry into her mouth with a grin.

“Yeah whatever,” Felicity laughed throwing one of her own fries at her, which got itself lodged into her bun. “Try having a kid, actually I can’t wait until that day comes, try shifting those pounds then!” she protested trying to keep her voice stern but failing.

“Oh shush yummy mummy,” Sara winked pulling the fry free and then popping it into her mouth. Felicity gagged and hid her face in her hands. “You look fab-u-lous,” she laughed aloud waving her hands up and down Felicity’s body. Truth be told, Felicity was fitter and looking better than ever had in her adult life.

“I’m not denying that I don’t,” Felicity answered coolly, holding a fry in her hand as she waved it around. “But don’t sit here and talk bull amount you being fat.”

Felicity and Sara were off again, Diggle swore at some point later in his life he was going to find out that he was in fact secretly female because he put up with all this.

“Do you think we can get another guy on the team?” Diggle asked interrupting the girls before they got into a full blown argument about weight and babies again, he suffered with that enough at home with Lyla.

“Why?” they asked in unison both turning their piercings eyes to him. Oh dear, things never ended well when they started talking in union.

“So I can feel more manly,” he answered raising an eyebrow daring them to push. Looking at each both before speaking, Sara went first.

“But John you are manly,” she protested. “You’re the manliest man I know, only real men use Jasmine and Honey body wash,” she said solemnly trying to stop smile curling her lips. Where Sara was successful, Facility wasn’t, she bent down head resting on the table crying with laughter.

“You promised!” he accused pointing a fry at Felicity. “You swore not to tell anyone!” he cried glaring at Felicity. He turned his attention to Sara and tried to explain. “It was one time, I had run out of wash and Felicity had left hers in the stall!”

“It’s alright big guy, some guys just like showing their feminine side more than others,” this time Sara did laugh and she leant on Felicity while doing so. The girls held each other as they cried with laughter and kept making jokes which only set them off more. John gave up in the end trying to explain himself and set back to eating his burger in peace, well as much peace as you could with two girls in fits of giggles in front of him. Thought honestly he wasn’t complaining. It was good to see them like this, see them happy, especially Felicity who had been so down after Oliver. When Sara came back she drew her out of her shell and started to bring back the girl she once was.

“I really need to get home,” Felicity panted wiping the tears from under her eyes as she started to calm down. “Thea has had cohen all day I hate to think what the condition the house is in.”

“How is the little guy?” John asked pushing his empty dish away and leaning back on bench drink in hand.

“He’s good, missing his Uncle Dig and Aunty Sara,” Felicity said looking at the pair of them pointedly. Both frowned and muttered their apologies, but Felicity knew they didn’t do it on purpose they just found it hard being around cohen, something Felicity had had to come to terms with a long time ago.

“You’re both welcome anytime, but unlike when he was a baby I can’t bring him down into the Foundry now and honestly I don’t know if I want to, not until he’s older anyway,” Felicity sighed it was hard keeping another life from her son, even he was still young, a baby even, it just felt wrong; so she was glad that there might be a day in the future when she could tell him everything. Tell him what his mother did and what his adopted aunt and uncle do along with who his father was.

“We’ll stop by tomorrow or something, your day off right?” Sara asked leaning across and snatching the rest of Felicity’s fries away from her, knowing she wouldn’t eat them. Sara could eat most men under the table, but then it was no surprise with everything she had been through you never knew when your last meal was going to be.

“Yeah, right I need to go, so tomorrow?” She asked rising from the bench and pulling her coat on. She pulled her braid from under the heavy fabric and then picked her bag up, throwing a ten down on the table for her food ignoring protests from Dig.

“Tomorrow,” they said together grinning at each other. “Jinx!” Sara laughing pointing at Dig and pulled a zipping motion over her mouth.

Rolling her eyes Felicity waved to them and walked off leaving them to argue over the finer points of ‘Jinx’. Felicity still lived in the same apartment complex as she had three years ago, so the short drive home was something she could do with her eyes closed, not that she would ever do that, because that would be seriously irresponsible. After parking the car in the garage and stepping into the elevator along with who were all over each other, obviously unable to make it their apartment before pulling each other clothes off. Now that brought back memories, Felicity bit down into her Perry winkle pink lips as she thought about the ‘Elevator experience’ her and Oliver had not long after they started going out.

The elevator doors ‘dinged’ open on her floor and after a last look at the giggling couple behind her she pulled her keys room her bag and walked down the hall heading towards apartment 67b, here home since arriving in Starling City. The key slide into the lock with ease and after a twist to the right and a kick to the bottom of the door she was stumbling into her apartment and crashing into shoes and coats littering the floor. Eyes widening and a sigh escaping her lips Felicity looked at the horror show before her.

“It looks worse than it is!” Thea exclaimed appearing from the kitchen carrying a box of toys on her hip, under arm which she threw more toys into after bending down to pick them up. Hanging her coat on the hook, and picking the other up in the process, Felicity heading deeper inside setting her bag down on the work top.

“I take it Cay was a handful?” Felicity said eyebrow raising when she saw the full extent of the mess. It varied from Lego bricks on the carpet to a suction cup arrow, stuck to the head of a little buddha figurine she had on the books case. Pulling it off and hearing the little ‘pop’ Felicity didn’t know how to be mad or upset, she knew it would happen.

“Just don’t even go here,” Thea laughed dropping the box at end of the sofa and then moved on to putting some order back to the cushions on the sofa. “I swear he only does it with me,” she scowled pulling a carrot stick out from the depths of the cushions looking at it oddly as if to say ‘how’d you get there’, before throwing it towards the trash can and cheering when it went in.

“I dunno, have you heard the stories when he’s with Tommy?” Felicity winked picking up clothes littered in front of the TV. “Costume changes?” she asked holding the Batman outfit up and then looking down at the Robin, Superman, Flash and a further array of Superhero costumes.

“Yup, on the hour every hour,” Thea plopped herself down in the couch once it was straight and set her feet on the coffee table. “He fell asleep about half hour ago, so he should sleep for the rest of night.” Thea was one who helped Felicity care for cohen the most, with work and then work at the Foundry as well it was hard to be able to get cohen to and from everywhere he needed to be.

“Glass of wine?” Felicity offered already moving into the small kitchen and pulling two wine glasses down and grabbing a bottle of red she the rack. She headed back into the other room and sat down beside Thea was sigh, happy to finally be home. She poured out the red liquid into the glasses, taking one for herself and handing the other to the younger member of the Queen family.

“Thank you for watching him for me, I know it was short notice,” Felicity spoke quietly taking a mouthful of her drink. Felicity honestly didn’t know what she would do without Thea, Tommy and everyone else helping her.

“You don’t need to thank me, I’d give that little boy the world if I could,” she grinned winking. Thea, along with everyone else spoiled cohen , if that boy needed something he’d get it in a flash. “Anyway, I love being around him, he reminds me of Ollie, or well the stories I heard of him.” Thea had been spending more and more time with Cohen, whether it was with her mother, or with Roy, Felicity’s son was never short for company.

“Your Mom was telling me about Oliver when he was small the other day, she’s still struggling isn’t she?” Felicity asked knowing the answer already. When Oliver went for the second time, Moira seemed to go down another dark hole, it wasn’t as deep as the first, she still went to out and worked and did everything a good CEO should; but she wasn’t the same, she lost all the light about her.

“Yeah, some days are better than others, I know her being around Cay helps, especially when they get into arguments and he always win!” she laughed shaking her head. “She just seems so much happier afterwards.”

“I’m glad, she’s welcome to have him anytime, but being CEO of QC doesn’t leave you with much time,” Felicity nodded hugging her knees to her chest and resting her head on to them, watching Thea out the corner of her eye.

Thea only nodded, she wanted, needed to ask Felicity something, but she knew there was a chance Felicity would shut her down completely. “Have...have you heard anything from him?” Thea whispered tipped her head to look through her hair at Felicity. “I know you don’t like talking about him, but I miss him, I just don’t believe he left again that’s all.” Thea’s voice didn’t reach beyond a whisper and Felicity had to listen hard to hear her.

“I haven’t.” Felicity shook her head reaching out and grasping Thea’s hand. Over the three years since cohen had been born, the pair had grown close. It might have been because they shared the common interest of Cohen or Oliver, or it could have been they just needed the company of someone feeling the same things as them, but whatever it was; they just glad that they had each other.

“Are you still looking?”

“Of course, I will never stop,” Felicity answered softly. “Yes I am learning to move on and after three years I’m finally starting to feel like I’m in a place to do that, but he’s still the father of my child and Cohen should know his father,” Felicity knew it wasn’t as simple as that, because there were so many emotions floating around in her head that she couldn’t even fathom, but she was right in what she was saying, today really did feel like a day to a new beginning.

Thea didn’t need to say anything she just set her glass on the coffee table and curled into Felicity’s side dropping her head to her shoulder. Felicity dropped her head on hers and they sat there in a comfortable silence.

Felicity shut and bolted the front door after watching Roy help a stumbling Thea back home. It wasn’t like they had drunk a lot, but Thea was just really tired. Felicity had already made up her mind that she was going to tidy tomorrow, so all that was left to do now was check on Cohen and then go bed, which was calling to her louder than ever.

She pushed the door open to the box room she had turned into cohen’s bedroom. Dig had helped her with putting furniture together. Thea with her amazing artistic skills had done all the paintings of superhero’s on the wall, not knowing how close to the heart all that really was. All Felicity had done was stand and watch the little family they had created together grow.

Cohen was out cold asleep when she checked on him, Thea must have really run him ragged. She made sure the nightlight was on before she pulled the door shut and headed down to her own room. She pottered about for a few moments going through nightly rituals of removing makeup and jewelry and then clothes. She pulled on the pair of forest green drawstring pajama bottoms, which back in the day used to belong certain billionaire. There were just some things she still couldn’t quite rid of yet.   

After settling into bed, she pulled her tablet up from where it was charging next to her bed and scanned through a couple of updates running at the Foundry and then on some alerts she had set up. She had hacked into federal agencies all over the worlds, using their facial recognition software to scan every camera they had access to, all searching for one face, Oliver Queen. She hand others on all his accounts, or accounts linked to him in some way, even the people he was close to. Felicity was on mission, she was going to find Oliver Queen and she was going to bring him home.

An incessant ‘Ping-ing’ woke Felicity at five AM. At first she thought it was Cohen with one of toys, but after rolling over and finding the space next to her empty she frowning. Groaning she looked for whatever was making the sound, finding her tablet was the culprit. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up dragging her tablet across her pillow into her lap. After snatching her glasses from the bedside cabinet, she switched the device on to see what was going on. Entering her password three times before getting it right, she stared at the screen stunned.

“I’ve found him...”

[imsaadalex-blog]

lovemelovemesaythat(uloveme)

rejection is hard. there’s no way around it. i’ve found recently i am the ultimate hypocrite when it comes to rejection, giving people sound advice about their rejection struggles while not taking the same advice for myself. the sound advice being “do you, don’t care what people think, that person is a jerk, move on” etc etc. but its way easier said then done. it’s pretty equal in my work and relationship life (which seems to be all i talk about here lol, i promise i do normal human things too, and i am just as devastated when my ramen place is out of red ginger. but i choose not to bring that up to avoid sounding like a total douche, as i did just now.) obviously i can handle rejection, i would have chosen the complete wrong career path if i couldn’t. for me it’s almost easier if i am with the person face to face, they can hear my shit and openly say “ya, not for me”. at least i get that in person confirmation and closure about it. i remember this kind of rejection most vividly at this la party when i first moved here, an agent “friend” of mine had invited me to come with him as a plus one (please refer to shesa(maneater) post). lot’s of b and c list celebrities there. we ended up in the studio of the house, and there was a piano in there, so i started to play and sing a little bit. i don’t think i was bad, but i was a little drunk and a little high so it probably wasn’t great. right after me some dude with huuuuge pipes sat down and slayed some cover that i can’t remember. there was one pretty relevant label dude in the room, who started patting this other guy on the back saying “man that was incredible! like hey, she was good, but man! that was incredible!!!” then i think i did a little coke and tried to pretend like it didn’t happen. a few lessons learned here. one- don’t be naive about what reasons this agent is inviting u to some party (again, refer to maneater post), and definitely don’t stay there till 6am (for the record i escaped in an uber at 6, but it still wasn’t the best look). two- don’t combine drugs and real networking work. i don’t want to sound like a D.A.R.E. rep here, but its just too risky. it’s very hard to bounce back in respect once you portray yourself like that, and you are going to do a sloppy job of representing yourself properly all around. a couple drinks are fine, but know your limits and be mindful of that (more on that in a future post). three- if you’re going to sit down and sing in a room full of industry people, make sure you’re fucking ready for that. regardless, this whole scenario doesn’t eat away at me as much. because at least this dude was real about it, and i know that i wasn’t phenomenal, and i probably wouldn’t have been that impressed by myself either. i could walk away learning something, even if it had to be the hard way. i will find myself in a room with this guy again, and (if he remembers me at all) i can at least show that i’ve grown up a bit. back to the entire point of this post- the rejections that eat away at me are the ones i didn’t ask for. my approach to networking has drastically changed since the druggy la party days. i used to go totally guerrilla style- making sure to meet everyone in the room i felt like i needed to meet and get their information and send them shit. and play the piano for people that didn’t ask for it. however i had the realization that though hustling is admirable, being thirsty is never good, and resonates poorly with people especially with the increased fakeness of social media penetrating its ugly head into our lives aggressively every day (no, i will not reword that sentence, it came out exactly how i wanted it to.) i now choose the alternative path- make myself out to be some ethereal being that doesn’t need to be bothered with the people on earth unless they choose to reach out to me and join me in space. i have found that when u walk into a room carrying yourself like this, you are much more likely for the people to come to you. this has happened a couple times recently, where i went to some shows purely as a show-goer. i was aware there were “important” people in the room, but i truly don’t care anymore. not only is it exhausting to network, but in my mind it can be a bit selfish to try and aggressive sell yourself during someone else’s set, someone else’s moment. on two separate occasions i had a big fancy a&r’s from big fancy labels come up to me, super hype about meeting me, put their number and email in my phone, look me dead in the eye and basically beg me to send them music. so, i did, and i got crickets. now the thing about this is that i know my music is good, and i don’t need their approval of that for me. but these encounters leave me in an annoying spiral of my own thoughts: “are they just busy? do they hate it? should i follow up? beuller?” i’d almost prefer an email back saying “this is the garbage of the earth.” then, at least i would know, and i’d have closure about it. i think ignoring has become the most prevalent and hurtful form of rejection in our modern age, especially with the multiple forms of communication available to us. and i say this as someone that definitely does it (usually to creepy dudes rather than work stuff, but whatever). but i do feel like these encounters can be a slight abuse of their power. i truly like these a&r’s as people, and i don’t believe the lack of response comes from a negative place for them, but you are playing with the emotions of someone sending you their heart and soul and dreams, and i think people on the industry side sometimes forget that. songs can become more of a formula rather than a pure expression of something painful or meaningful to an artist. and especially if you asked this person to share that side of themselves with you, just the few seconds of your time to even say that it isn’t your cup of tea can make all the difference in the world. but maybe that’s just me. this exact formula is how i feel about relationship rejection as well. the main reason i am so fucked up and in a sense hung up on this dude i dated for just a few months is because he refused to give me this closure. i have a song called “over and over” that alludes to this- i straight up had this dude in my passenger seat, things were clearly falling apart and i just wanted him to admit that they were and tell me why:

you’re like a movie that plays in my mind (over and over and over)

and i want to make it rewind (over and over and over)

until we get to scene in the passenger seat

when you wouldn’t admit it to me that we were

(over and over and over)

but he wouldn’t. cause he’s a coward (i mean that in a nice way, i don’t hate him, he’d probably would say he was too). now i am left with similar questions: “was it someone else? does he hate me? does he still care about me? should i reach out?” all just to find that closure when someone looks you in the eye and tells you the truth. and yea, after all this time i still think i’d prefer a text from him now that says “you are the garbage of the earth” ♡ xx